A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like ive recked my life. Im not to sure what to do or where to start. The love of my life happens to be a friend. We met through being on the same course, i thought he liked me(i wont go into detail with the reasons let just say it was obvious, to both me and others) However this girl that also liked him started causing trouble over me, turning people away from me and so nothing ever happened between me and him. Thing is we've always had problems talking to each other i have to start conversations online he doesnt talk much to me not sure why because hes ot really a shy guy. See i had it in my head we;re just gonna be friends nothing more however im lost without him, other stuff has happened such as his mate added me trying to find out if i liked anyone etc and then told someone she was trying to get us together. And so its all confused me and i just cant stick wit the we'll only ever be friends espically if anyone asks him outright(people we both know) he says im not his type.However a night out confused me. We met up wiht two of my mates(a couple, who at the time he didnt really know) who were alittle late, at first i thought he doesnt really wanna come because he asked if the others were still coming along however ive never known him to talk to me that freely before. It was great we spoke about loads of stuff it was really good thre was no awkwardness or anything. The night went well, he was dancing with my mate and he asked me to go joi its not really my thing but i did anyway, we got on great! He was also taling to my mate and she said to him about what people said back at college and stuff she said "i know people were spreading stuff like she was obessed and stuff but believe me ive known her 6 years and i know she;d never do that she just wnated to be friends because she knew deep down it would work"(btw, i knew it wouldnt work because of people saying stuff at college not in general) and he said "no i no it wouldnt work, i do like her shes a lovely girl...." - that was all i knew of what was said. And then when we left me and him went one way and the others were going the other way so gave them a hug bye and then just after i hugged my mate and her bf he said "(my name)??" as in..hug??- he wanted one. I said im coming with you and he said "yea i no but..." and so i hugged him. Normally he wouldnt do that. Also when we were dancing we were just all holding hands yet he seemed to feel awkward with me., Yea he knows how i feel and he knows i will never think of it as anymore than friends, i will never act on it either.so its all really confused me because i just dont know what to think anymore. Hes the only guy ive ever truely loved, he made me who i am, i dont really want a bf so when people jsut say move on it really doesnt help because so much has happened to jsut forget it all, i cant forget it all i cant cut contact because we;ve got the same mates and ive tried it and im totally lost without him. In a way im happy that we;re mates but then again its just confusing me because of how he acts half the time, half the time hes acting like he likes me the next hes fine just like mates and then the next hes gone all cold. Thing is from stuff thats happened in the past ve noticed if people flirt with him he tends to say he likes them but he knows im shy so im not sure wether to try and flirt with him more. but if i do how can i do it so its not to much or in is face???im not very good at this so need some advice please. Also just any advice you can give me on any of this...your opinon on why you think hes like this? how i can try not to let it bother me? how i can just focus on being friends?I want him more than aything in the world theres so much happened that makes me think people know how he feels about me i cant begin to explain it. I love him and please dont get me wrong hes not a nasty guy or a waste of space hes kinda quiet but hes a nice guy in general please help me.
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female
reader, witch-fire +, writes (21 October 2009):
 Have you thought about asking him out? I'm probably a hypocryt here but it's no good saying you love him to yourself. Oh and I'd keep that knowledge to yourself for now- just ask him out and see how it goes from there.
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