A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid I have been with my partner for last 5 years and have two kids. He is good partner and dad and helps me mostly with chores. We both work full time.Lately my sexual libido is down. But my partner either same or increased. He likes Bjs and I’m not a fan. He will clean only down there but it still smells and I’m sensitive to smell. I gag a lot too, that makes me don’t want to try it more than few mins. He is kind of keep asking for it even though he knows I don’t like it He is also a big fan of thongs, which is the most uncomfortable thing to sleep in or even wear it at home during day time. Have few okay ones and I wear those.Few days back I got angry because I won’t do bjs and was uncomfortable in a position and won’t talk to me since then. Sleeping in guest room and won’t engage much with kids also. I’m worried don’t know how to fix this and make me like bjs and thongsI am worried, don’t know how to fix this. Without breaking our marriage. Please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2024): You can't be what you're not!
A bj isn't EVERYTHING in a relationship!
I knew a guy who had separated from his partner due to his infidelity but he was happy because he found a new woman who would give him blow jobs every night!
A match made in heaven you might think.
But no, it didn't last more than a year.
He got fed up with his nightly blow jobs and wanted something else.
You could try being his constant sexual provider or you could just tell him 'you accept me as I am or end this nightmare! '
If you feel hurt over that then he's got a hold over you.
Do you really think you bring nothing more to the table than your sexual appetite?
You'd be surprised to discover a woman is worth more than a blow job or a quick shag!
Or even a lengthy night of passion when you have to get up early for the kids.
He is being inconsiderate if he is being too demanding!
It's a bit childish of him to go to the spare room but he probably wants some privacy to watch porn and Jack off a bit!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2024): I'm absolutely flabbergasted at keen fox answer and if mines isn't posted as many seem to go awry on this site I will look init why .
My opinion as RMN female with counselling behavioural therapy degree . Is that you do not have to give into your husband and rub him of bj him every freaking night . Your hubby needs to grow up and go DIY do it himself. You do not need to wear thongs to please him . Tell him straight sex nights will be x y z and if he keeps being a baby and ignoring you n the kids . Then you can do the sane . Don't make his bed . Don't clean his clothes . Don't make his meals . Your not a sexual toy . This is supposed to be a relationship so communicate how things will go . Yes uou can compromise when you both discuss this . To be honest your hubby needs to speak with someone if he can't control his urges . He's acting like a teenager . You can't do something your not in the mood for . You will only learn to dispise him . Plus tell him his weiner stinks and he needs to clean it daily not only for bjs
I wish you luck . Chin up
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A
male
reader, Keen Fox +, writes (20 June 2024):
Don’t stress. It’s normal for partners to have different libidos, and it doesn’t need to break your marriage. My wife will want sex 2-3 times per week, whereas I feel horny and want a release pretty much every night. Our compromise is that, even though we don’t have sex every night, she will do something to pleasure me every night :) It might be a bj, or it could be just rubbing
/ caressing my package with her hands! You don’t need to use your mouth! A hand job can still be extremely pleasurable and satisfying for your husband, and very easy for you to do. You guys can find a compromise with the thongs too. I want my wife to wear something arousing to bed. She used to wear thongs but she has gained a lot of weight and doesn’t feel comfortable wearing them now because her tummy fat will swallow them up. She wears “high waisted” lingerie now because it sucks in her fupa better. They make some very nice lingerie sets for plus size women that are more comfortable / supportive than a thong but still very beautiful and arousing. Learn what arouses your husband the most - it might be your breasts, or it might be your hips and the shape of your bum. There is lingerie that will accentuate those assets :) You need to honor your husband’s libido and find ways to satisfy him daily, that work for both of you!! Start by getting some new lingerie. Wear it for him, get him relaxed and comfortable and then caress his special ”pecker” with your hands, especially the tip as that’s where he’ll feel the most pleasure. It may take some time but you can take him “all the way” just with your hands and you don’t even need to use your mouth. He will be pleasantly surprised and your marriage will be way stronger. Don’t be afraid to try new things and new ways to arouse and stimulate him! You’ve got this :)
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