A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Some of our departments have merged at work, whats a good way to get along with new colleagues? Edit None of us new to the workplace but 1/3 of us ( maybe 13 of us) have moved to new much bigger area/ward same job, new colleagues..I work in a hospital NOT an office!! very different environement! How to get along and appear ok and a likeable person with them Aside from saying hi and bye when you see them, (its a bigger department) and doing yr job of course. They are a tight knit team.. 1/3 bitchy.. 2/3 ok.. A couple of the managers under 30 are especially cliquey and barely said hi when I saw them yesterday when we moved areas.I'm older then half of them and friendly but quieter, and peaceful and not nasty, don't want to be seen as the weird "old" colleague.So how to fit in amongst this Lot? I like my job and the placed I work, we all in my old area had to move out of necessity, my old area closing down.As I wrote it is NOT a new workplace, it's a new area in the existing workplace. help!! really want to make it work.. All of us in the area have to adjust to the new bigger team, but us "newbies" the team the most.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2016): WHY do you have to FIT IN?
Why are they so high and mighty that you have to be stressed and worried about impressing them?
Co-workers are fair weather. Come and go. There when things are good. Stab you in the back when things aren't. Never place too much emphasis on them. Remember: They are not and never will be your true friends. Take it from somebody with experience.
Just BE YOURSELF. March to your own drummer.
Ever think if you don't try too hard, they will come to you?
Who cares if you fit in, or not?
I could care less about that stuff. I like to be different. And if people don't like me, too bad for them.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 June 2016):
 Relax ; everything is going to be Ok.
This is not sarcasm, this is encouragement !
You have nothing to fear .. but fear itself.
You are a competent worker , and a polite person, and you are one among many people who have been moved, so you won't even be singled out as the " new kid on the block ".
Act polite , confident, calm, and throw around some warmth under the form of sincere and welcoming smiles, and in time everything will feel normal again.
You are a group of new people; it is normal that those people are friendler and warmer with the colleagues they already know well, than with the newbies.
Why should they see you as the weird old one ?!
You are older than half of them- that also means that you are younger , or the same age, as the other half ! ... I don't think the "older " half sees the younger as
" weird ".
As for fitting in, though, I am not sure what your expectations are. If you work with colleagues in their 20 s, I'd say it's quite normal that there's a bit of a generation gap- they can give you respect and cooperation and on- the- job friendliness, - but as for hanging out after work ,and going for drinks or to clubs , inevitably they wìll want to do that with their peers, and I am pretty sure that clubbing is not what you would want anyway.
Also remember that socializing on the job is a plus, not a must ; many people choose to not socialize on the job, not because they have got anything personal against their colleagues, but because they find more relaxing , or preferable for various other reasons, to keep their work life and private life totally separate.
So, I think that you don't have to do anything special but what you are probably already doing right now - being polite, respectful, cooperative, - avoiding gossip and power plays,- being a good team player, and most of all performing your duties in a way that's beyond critique; and in a while you'll feel at home in your new work environment.
All changes may feel a bit frazzling at the beginning- but after a while, they are not changes anymore, they become routine...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2016): I don't know what are the social faux pas where you live, but where I live it's totally acceptable to share food with your co-workers, especially if you make something. Food is an excellent excuse to get to know people.Don't try to charm them all at once. Focus at a person or a smaller group at the time. If you have any spacial skills (like speaking a foreign or anything that could come in handy) let it be known and help them out from time to time. Don't let them use you and take on their work load. Try and remember their names and certain important details about them. Listen to what they have to say. (I don't mean eavesdrop ;).Sometimes people are just as worried as you about fitting in and can suffer from social anxiety and come off as aloof and snobbish, while they want to have a better social contact.Give yourself time. Don't expect things to work out overnight.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2016):
 Stick to being you, being polite, professional and nice to everyone regardless of their age and "cliquishness factor" and I think you will be fine.
I agree with Aunty BimBim it's a bat bad on the HR/management dept. that they didn't have a few "get to know" you event or meeting to help people blend better, but since you didn't have that, just DO you.
You may not make friends with EVERYONE, but you can make it easier on you by just ignore the cliques and do your job and be friendly.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 June 2016):
 I'm surprised your HR department didn't organise some combined training sessions or similar, with coffee and cookies, to help break the ice between the two groups. The younger managers probably lack the degree of maturity needed to oversee the melding of the two groups into one cohesive team.
There will be some jockeying for position and each group of people will be carefully checking out the other, trying to work out different personalities, skill sets and work ethics. There is always some sort of pecking order and it is inevitable this order will change with the addition of 15 to the group. Those who have moved will be seen as outsiders to those who remain in their old workplace, and they will be determined not to be somebody who moves down the order rather than up.
However, all is not lost, you are one of 15, and there is safety in numbers haha.
As a slightly more mature person, you could adopt an air of calm, display an open body posture to let it be known you are no threat, be pleasant, ask a few questions, and if you get the opportunity, show interest in the others in a friendly manner.
The dust should have settled between 3 and 6 months, and just say to yourself every now and then "this is who I am, and this is what I do"
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2016): This is poster
Is it at all possible to get helpful and non sarcastic answes, am stressed here! Appreciate help not hate or sarcasm
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 June 2016):
 You're over-thinking this... RELAX......
Good luck...
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