A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a bi-curious 20 year old male, I had never been w/ a guy, and I'm not attracted emotionally to guys whatsoever, just to penises.Anyway, I went to a gay bar and found a guy and went home with him. There was almost an hour of handjobs and bjs. I enjoyed it very much, and was ready to move on (safely), as was he.At this point he told me he would only bottom. Now I'm willing to do both, but the only reason I'm with a guy is so I can bottom. We ended up doing nothing more, a huge dissappointment after great foreplay.How can I find a partner who's willing to do what I'm looking for? It's not the kinda thing you can casually bring up in conversation. Please don't give me warnings about being safe, I know to take precautions but here I'm looking for help.
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male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 When people advise you to be safe, try to take it as a sign that they care, not a condescending quip. Even from strangers on the internet. On that note, be safe. Make sure you understand the signs of STDs and other transmittable infections, and never be embarrassed to get yourself tested. This advice applies equally if you are with men or women. It could save your life.That said...Kudos on your bravery in exploring your bi-curiosity. That took a lot of balls, pun intended.It is not considered rude to ask potential hook-ups if they are into topping or bottoming or if (like you) they are versatile. Sounds like you just got a bad match, although what you two did prior to the curtain call sounded like fun and may have been just what you needed to break the ice in being with another guy. Going from 0-60mph on the first test drive isn’t for everyone.In preparation for your upcoming visit to the used car lot, I suggest you read (or at least flip through) “The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex” (which you can read in full here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/6890951/The-Ins-And-Outs-Of-Gay-Sex)This book will answer many questions and provide you with health and technique information that I’m sure will come in hand(job)y. ;P
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (31 March 2009):
Well you are lucky in that you are a guy, and as such you will find many many guys who don't want a relationship, they just want sex.
My advice is to just do what you did again.
Go to a gay bar, pull a guy, but while you are snogging in the bar, talk dirty in his ear and ask him what he wants to do to you when you get home?
He's blatantly going to be in it for sex as well so he's hardly going to be shocked by the question.
Then you can tell him what you want and if it's a yes then great, and if it's a no then you know you'll have another night of fab foreplay without getting your hopes up.
I know you are being safe so that is good. Continue to go so and have fun!!
Good Luck!! xx
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