A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I think my husband of 12 years is having an affair. Myself and my hubby are in the same job but work at different locations. One of our colleagues told me she was concerned about how much help and time he was spending with a client. Anytime she calls the office he jumps out straight to, her according to his colleagues. Others he holds calls or demands they make appointments. My husband is 51 and has developed a keen interest in going to the "gym" every night. He hides his phone from me and hasn't touched me in over a year. I decided to drive to his work today to see for myself and he was with this girl in the middle of the street. She was laughing and flirting with him. My heart sunk watching him with this women who must be no older than 25.Thing that disgusted me more that she had her kid with her while flirting with my hubby. I keep repaying what I saw today and they hugged and looked at each other, like I know that look from him. Tonight he is at the "gym" my whole body is shaking, I know he is with her and it is ripping me apart. If it wasn't for our own daughter here, I would have turned up at her door tonight. I am shaking.That girl is young,could have her pick. Yet she wants my man! How can I find someone else at my age. Why the hell would she rip my family apart?
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (20 July 2016):
 She is playing her part, yes but he's the one you need to direct your anger at. What a fool he is making of himself with such an age difference. What do you want to do, leave, because you ask how do you get a man at your age? If that is something you want then make it short and simple. First, get your ducks in a row by having divorce papers drawn up. Then pack up his shit and have it couriered to her house and the papers delivered to his work. You are in your 50's and can take this as an opportunity to have a new lease on life. If he can then why do you feel as though you cant either? Rejuvenate your self internal and external and you might surprise yourself at just what an awesome catch you are.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 July 2016):
 It's normal to want to blame the other woman, the stranger, but the truth is, she didn't betray you. Your husband did. She isn't the one ripping your family apart, she isn't the one who took marital vows with you and she isn't the one who built a home with you. It's your husband who is entirely to be blamed and while I know you don't want to hear this, this is the hard truth.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 July 2016):
 You are facing the wrong person for your anger... SHE isn't "ripping" your family apart. YOUR HUSBAND is. IF he wasn't interested in HER, she wouldn't be responding and flirting with him.
YOUR husband is the one who made vow with you, NOT her.
While her actions are NOT at all admirable or moral - she really doesn't OWE you squat... YOUR husband does.
YOUR husband is the one who is cheating ON you.
So you need to decide what YOU want and how you get to that, instead of blaming her.
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