A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think my girlfriend is cheating on me she tells me she doesn't want sex as much because we are not all about that, I ask her what she's doing quite a lot and she says "why do you always need to know what I'm doing?" I've asked her quite a few times have you cheated on me, she shouts "no I'm bloody not cheating on you" or "no why do you always ask me that" and gets all angry. She tells me I am paranoid.Is she cheating on me and how can I tell if she is?
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 December 2008):
 Uncle Phil!!!!! lmaooooooooo
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): It's not a definitive test, but the next time your suspicions are at their height, go down on her and check for the smell of latex.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 December 2008):
Okay, you need to ask yourself some questions... Has her manner changed recently or has she always been like this? Do you still see her as often as you used to? Are you fighting more often? Are you finding that YOU are always the one making first contact? What is your gut telling you?
~Eve~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): Of course she's going to end up shouting if you've 'asked her quite a few times' about whether she's cheated on you - she must be feeling pretty miserable and annoyed about your lack of trust in her.
If you carry on like that, you will lose her. Just calm down - women tend to have lower libidos, and my sex drive definitely has peaks and falls. Just having less sex is not enough grounds to accuse someone of cheating.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Has it occurred to you that she might be telling the truth? That she's not cheating on you and that you are getting overly paranoid about it?
Women's libidos can vary with age, medical condition, having conditions such as depresson, excess stress, and so on.
Also, I hate to say this, the honeymoon period of passion and nearly constant sex can wear off. It's hard to sustain that level of activity and passion. It's not that she doesn't love you or is cheating, it could just be a resettlement to a different schedule.
So if you want to keep her as your girlfriend, stop accusing her of cheating, and simply talk to her about the change and why it could be happening. And for heaven's sake, LISTEN to her answers. Don't have an internal dialogue going on in your head which drowns out her response. Go in with an open mind, a calm and loving demeanor and ask her gently.
If you start acting all paranoid and start trying to catch her out, you're going to ruin her trust in you and her feelings for you. Imagine how you'll feel if you find out she's never even considered cheating on you, while the door is hitting you in the backside as she shoves you right through it.
You sound like you may be overly clingy and needy and she is simply trying to keep some boundaries in place between you two. She is actually entitled to some privacy, even if you two are living together.
I hope things work out for you.
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