A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live with my father and today he sat me down to tell me something. He told me his doctors have found 2 rather large lumps on his brain and they don't know what it is until they do further testing next Monday. Now I'm someone who worries a lot especially about my fathers health as it has been slowly deteriorating the past couple years. My father tells me not to worry but I mean lumps on the brain has to be a serious matter right? I can't help but to be extremely worried. So I have 2 questions 1. I am not someone who knows anything about the medical field- is this something very serious or is there a possibility that can be a minor problem? 2. What can I do to stop stressing out and try to be calm? Thanks for your help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 October 2015):
 Hi, just checking in on what you've learned. I hope that no news is good news in this case. And that you were able to get the HIPPA forms completed so you can speak to his doctors and get some accurate updates.
I know just hard difficult this can be, through personal experience. Best to you.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 October 2015):
 I'm so sorry you got this news. It's awful, feeling terrified and wishing for time to speed up to hear the results, and at the same time, NOT wanting time to speed up because the results may be something life-changing.
Just breathe. It may be nothing! But if it isn't, lean on those you love and are friends with. And be alone when you need to be. Your father is still *here*. And he is alive. And now is a very precious thing, no matter what.
Distract yourself! Time will slow if you're obsessing over news.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 October 2015):
The forms would be known as the HIPPA forms (as SVC pointed out). We've been there, done that, know the drill and can walk you through this. More info is needed, however. :) Hope to hear from you soon and that we've alleviated some of the worry.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 October 2015):
What were the tests they are planning to do? He would have appointments and directions for what he should or shouldn't do before such tests. If he was undergoing scans there would be very specific instructions on that.
Can you please provide more information these tests?
It's pointless to speculate what the 'lumps' would be, a waste of time and a worry-creator. How did the doctors identify that he had 'lumps' in the first place? How has your Dad's health deteriorated?
If he has a condition affecting his brain then I'm very surprised he hasn't been asked to bring someone along on his appointments.
As SVC asked, has he designated anyone in the family (besides his wife who would be automatically the next of kin) as being allowed to call for results? If not, call the doctor's office and get the forms (they are usually downloadable, or can be emailed to you) and have your Dad sign them giving the doctor's office permission to release medical results and records to you.
Get those printed, filled out, go with your Dad to the doctor's offices and have him sign them in front of the staff. Alternatively, have him sign them and you mail or drop them off at the doctor's offices.
What can you do to stop stressing and be calm? Call your own doctor and explain the situation. They usually can get you in if you are in some sort of crisis.
Otherwise, remember that becoming dramatic and freaking out will not help anyone, let alone your Dad. You know nothing at this point. All you know is some 'lumps'--I'm surprised that's what the doctor called them. Lumps isn't what a medical professional would call them.
So now that you seem to be upset and freaking out about it, be sure to reach out for support to your friends and family. Someone will know someone who is in the medical field and will be able to walk you through the next logical steps.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (9 October 2015):
 I've learned through trial and error...ask your dad if you can go with him, chat with the doctor. Its the only way you can be sure that you are going to get all the information..by hearing it yourself. Go prepared, ask questions..listen to what the doctor has to say.
I used to get so frustrated when one of my parents had something wrong and they would go to the doctor, come home and try to tell me what was wrong. They were older, scared, confused and I never got the whole story. I would wind up calling the doctor's office (I lived 2000 miles away) begging for information. Be sure that your dad gives the doctors/hospitals permission for you to talk with them.
Good luck, hun. Its tough when your parents start having problems, I'm there myself right now.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2015):
 YOU can't do anything until dad has his next appointment.
Ask him if you can go with him and be put on his HIPPA statement so that the doctor can talk to you about it when he's not there too.
Do NOT assume that LUMPS on the brain are cancer. IT may be nothing serious but until you have a plan of action you can't do much of anything.
I am currently dealing with my dad's illness... be there, be supportive, be upbeat and cheerful... make him laugh... trust me it turned my dad around from someone who could not get off the couch with depression and cancer to someone who went to the fitness center yesterday to work out and fight this evil.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (9 October 2015):
 I can see that this is a tough one. You have been brought face to face with the fact that your Dad isn't going to be with you forever.
The tumours that have been found may be benign. Even if they are not they may be removed, or they may be managed by a drug regime. There is every reason to hope for a positive outcome.
The best thing is that you have started to talk about it. Death is a normal part of life and shouldn't be hidden away. Talk to your Dad and help him through this. He shouldn't have to pretend everything is OK for the rest of the family. He is lucky enough to have a caring daughter like you.
I wish you many more happy years together.
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