A
female
age
36-40,
*shlove
writes:Hallo everyoneI hope you can help me out on this one because I'm lost and yet in love. It goes like, I met this man 39 last year, he works in Canada so he visits every 3 or 4 months. So more like a distant relationship. I'm a single mum and he told me he is a single dad, said he separated from wife in 2006. When he is in Canada I get to talk to him any time I like and he will be relaxed.The problem is when he comes this side. When he comes here he only comes to my place I cant visit him where he will be staying, he said he stays with his sister and that we should just give it a little more time before I come to his place (he said something about respect for the sister). I cant talk to him whenever I feel like talking to him. There was a time I called him and he cut me off, the next day he said he didn't have a phone line so he wasn't mobile anymore.I have a feeling he is still with his wife, whenever I ask him he denies it all and ends up telling me that I dont trust him and the relationship won't work out well if we don't trust each other. I've fallen for him so deeply that at times I'm scared of what may come in future. Now he says he wants to marry me (the traditional marriage) I dont want to marry someone who has a family but I love this guy.Help me please, how can I find out everything I need to know about this man? I've tried everything possible but yet I'm not fully satisfied at all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): You can find the information you are looking for but it will cost you quite a bit of money. The cost varies depending on the location and difficulty of the case.
If the job had to be carried out in Canada, a complete background check would cost between $2000 and $5000 in canadian dollars.
Please visit www.freelancesecurity.com
In my opinion, either you trust someone or you don't. If you really have it in your heart that he is not to be trusted and would like to move on with your life, by all means do so. Or you can choose to spend your money, find out that he is still married and then, move on with your life. It is up to you. Think, think, think about what you will do when you have all this information in your hands. Be wise.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): ashlove, you want to ONLY get married the traditional way. what about the LEGAL way.is he still legally married therefore he can't marry you the legal way.
so you have settled to be his traditional wife. then he will have 2 wives, are you happy sharing him and are you certain you are happy with polygamy???
fishy story here. don't say you havn't been warned
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A
female
reader, ashlove +, writes (8 October 2009):
ashlove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx guys, chinana the ex wife stays here she is not in canada. last night l pressured him to tell me why he wouldnt let me come to his place and he said that his ex wife normally comes to visit the kids, and they are having fights over properties they had together. So l told him l will give him time to sort his divorce then we get married after everything is done with his ex.
thanx a lot
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Definitely sounds married. Do you know where this "sister" lives?
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 You didn't mention where his wife is based, in your country or in Canada. It is possible that he really can be staying with his sister whilst he is there. My ex boyfriend (29) accommodated his older brother(mid 30s) in his house for 6 months (when he was going through his divorce) and in that period i could not visit my boyfriend at his house. My boyfriend also said that he respected his brother and did not want me hanging around.
However, when your man comes to visit you do you go out in public together or you only meet in private. Has he introduced you to any other family members(considering he is talking about marriage) These could be clues.
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