A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:First, I am married to a loving and beautiful wife of almost 30 years. I couldn't live a day without her, she needs me, and we have two wonderful children.That said, before we met, I had a relationship with a young woman with whom I never spent enough time over our 3 months together, but got to know her well enough to know who she was and fall in love. We parted after a last day/night together that was very special, though we never became sexual partners. She was young (23) and somewhat of a lost soul. Shortly after our parting, she decided to join the Peace Corps and spent 2 years in Africa. We kept in touch by letters, and I waited her return with great anxiety, as I wanted her to be my wife and devote my life to us and a family. When she returned, she did not call to let me know. When I called her, she answered and my heart broke. After some lenghty discussion, she agreed to meet me in another city. Two days before that agreed date, she called and told me she couldn't come. She didn't give a reason, just couldn't. I hung up the phone, and moved on with my life.....but never letting go of the memory of that wonderful woman. I knew that I would always love her with all my heart and soul.Until I found her on the internet. Her picture was on Facebook. She was always the most beautiful woman I had ever known, so gentle, intelligent, thoughtful, honest, caring...but she is even more beautiful at 55, and her beauty had nothing to do with appearance....but so much to do with her heart and soul.I had to call her...found her work number on the internet..and I did. She lives 2000 miles away,is married with two children, and was "committed" to her husband. The question I needed answered was why? What made her change her mind about meeting me again 30 years ago? I got my answer. She knew now that she was in a state of clinical depression after college graduation and at that time, having returned from two years of trying to just survive in Africa and losing 30 lbs., and trying to just live again.What I found was someone who wanted to talk to me, share memories, and reveal things about her life that she may never have told anyone. I have talked to her twice and both times we laughed, talked about everything, and shared more than ever.Which has resulted in my thinking of her almost every moment in the past few weeks. What I want more than anything is for her to be happy and safe, and to keep me in her life as and unconditional friend and confidant, a guardian angel who will always be there for her.....because that is all I can be. Meanwhile, the heartache that I suffer is almost unbearable and that I could cause the same for her, though she is struggling in her own marriage, is unacceptable. We are both just too responsible and caring to cause anyone in our families any pain. Wondering what is the right thing to do is tearing me apart emotionally. Neither one of us wants a complete disconnection, as we have connected on many levels we never had previously, and neither really wants that. She the most admirable woman I have ever known, and the result of our reconnecting has put me in a very confusing state of emotional turmoil. I simply would never betray my wife and there has never been a thought of infidelity in my marriage. The very last thing I want would be for this woman to be divorced and available, but is that selfish if she is not happy and fulfilled in her life? How can I feel so strongly about 2 women, as I have been a one woman man all my life? How do I proceed? This is all new to me and has produced a plethora of questions and answers with which I need help.
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female
reader, Lost in the clouds  +, writes (15 February 2011):
Hello, Im young and not sure if i can help but i hav been the woman that your wife is now, and it hurts let me tell you, if she were to ever find out she would b crushed and you guys will never get back from it, not that you would divorce but to feel the hurt of the man you love loving someone else as deeply as you do (or feelings maybe not love) and it will always be in the back of her mind.
A
male
reader, nononsense +, writes (15 February 2011):
Let it go brother. You are "married to a loving and beautiful wife" you "couldn't live a day without". You've had your fun. You didn't get caught. Do not contact this woman again. Count your blessings and continue with your life.
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