A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 29 years old and do not have much experience with men and dating. I fell in love as a teenager, but the relationship did not work out. He always made me feel like I was never good enough for him. He would pull me in and push me away. After we broke up, I did not date for 10 years. I have very poor confidence, and I have a hard time believing any man would be interested in me. I have low self-esteem. Recently, I met a new guy. He began flirting with me and showed genuine interest. He pledged to both my mother and sister that he would never hurt me. We have been dating for a couple of months. He is very sweet to me. He is kind and patient. Very quiet, mild mannered. He makes me feel beautiful and he has made me love my body and all its flaws. Even when it came to sex, we did it on my terms. He told me he would wait until I was ready and when the right time came, I gave my virginity to him. Things seemed to slow down a little after the sex, but I don't know if that is my imagination and lack of confidence. He is still very sweet to me and is planning a "surprise" for me, but right now he is buried in his work (he works 3 jobs) and is in the middle of a religious fast. He has done nothing to make me feel like our relationship is in danger. However, I can't seem to shake the fact that I feel like I am going to lose him. I feel like all of this is too good to be true. I'm not the kind of girl who gets the guy. I keep waiting for something "bad" to happen, for him to break my heart. To not want me anymore. I get the feeling that all this stems from the one and only relationship experience I had as a teenager. How can I get over this and enjoy the budding relationship I am in? I'm so afraid to tell him all of this, I do not want to scare him away. I just can't get over the feeling that this is all going to come crashing down. I'm starting to really care about him. It may even be love. How can I feel more secure in our relationship?
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female
reader, Miss Murray  +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Dear Writer,
After the event in which your teenage lover cut off your relationship, your self-esteem is bound to plumet my love! But the facts are: he was young, and stupid. This new guy your with sounds like the one for you. If he says hes sticking around? Give him a chance to prove it! What is there to lose? If he sticks with you and everything is hunky dory, result! if not, then hes not worth the trouble. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on!
Do something for yourself. Test him perhaps, to a dedgree in which you feel comfortably stable in the relationship status. Go shopping, get your hair done, do things for you. Don 't feel the need t rely on a man. You was born into the world unattacthed, therefore you were not designed to rely on another. But, try to make the best of every situation. Single, in a relationship, or just plain having fun! I hope this helped,
Miss Murray xx
A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (28 August 2010):
 First of all wait until the religious fast is over. During this fast, he is not allowed to have sex. It ends in US on August 10th, so please don't drive yourself insane.
No guy can ever make you feel good about yourself. They help, but the real learning you have to do on your own. The fact that he is caring, and waited for you to be ready, and makes you feel beautiful are all wonderful things that should help you feel good about yourself, and realize that HE is lucky to be with you.
I suggest to read some books on improving your self esteem. It will help you in the long run, because there is nothing sexier than a woman who is confident about herself. This confidence comes from inside, and you need to work on it. Once you begin to work on yourself the rest will fall into place.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): I think its great you understand that because of the failed relationship thats where you got this insecurity because finding out why you have this problem is the first step to getting better. I also think its great that you have found a man. I think you should tell him about all your worries. I dont think it will drive him away, it might even bring you closer together. Plus the failed relationship happened when you were a tennager, most of those relationships dont work out. I think you have found a great man and just be positive.:]
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