A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:I moved into an apartment with my 6 month bf, abt a month ago. In the beginning it was very difficult and I gt very anxious. So I had to start taking anxiety meds that have helped. But I still get stomach aches because I have IBS, and I don't feel comfortable feeling bad next to him. I have felt sick infront of him, but I'm always scared of throwing up and having a panic attack, since it scares me. I know this is something I have to get over and I should learn to feel comfortable good n bad next to him. He is very understanding and tries to help me out. But he also suffers from anxiety and I feel like if I were to have a panic attack before throwing up, that would make him very anxious and have a panic attack too. I've always felt sick next to my family and its my first time living with someone.Can any of you give me advice, on feeling sick with your S/O and what can I do to feel more comfortable?Thanks
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female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (26 February 2016):
 I suffer from OCD and struggle with anxiety attacks . I used to worry about being unwell around bf as well or having period disasters during the night. But I have gotten better.
My mantra is "he knew I was human before this" and it sort of helps cos it's a silly thing to say. If I have a panic attack over something. Then that's that. When I first did he freaked out a little and then once I'd calmed down he gave me a cuddle and we moved on. Your boyfriend actually has them, so will probably react better than this.
You need to, I think. Try really hard to let go, even for one day, and after you've stopped worrying for one day and your relationship doesn't fall apart then you'll start to feel better.
Building up all of your anxiety and stress will make you feel more sick more often and will set ur IBS into a spin.
You need to think that he is human too. He knows what it is like. And he has grown up around other humans who get sick or have bad tummies or stress related issues. So he isn't going to not be able to deal with you.
I wish I could give more helpful and practical advice but it's definitely mind over matter unfortunately.
You can overcome these things :) just be open with him and you can do it together.
Best of luck. Xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016): I agree with aunt honesty. Gradually you will feel better more comfortable and assured. It's not moods maybe it is just nice to have others opinions around you while you adjust to your new surroundings!!
Sounds like a nice relationship you have now and once you are sure then their should be no stopping you
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 February 2016):
 It can be hard to show someone your most vulnerable side and I do understand your fear. But I think you need to talk to him about this. It will gradually get better as the relationship progresses. You could see a hypnotist or do some cognitive therapy to get over this. I agree meds for anxiety are good but they should only be used short term while the person is getting treated with therapy. It is not a long term solution.
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A
male
reader, nostalgic +, writes (24 February 2016):
Hi Midsummer,This is part of living with someone and developing your relationship.Unlike dating, living together isn't sunshine and roses everyday. Some days are good, some days not so good, some really suck and others you will wish had never happened at all.You say that your BF is very understanding and this is a good thing. In fact if he wasn't understanding he probably shouldn't be your BF. A relationship is about helping each other - especially when the other half needs it.If he is also prone to anxiety, then he is almost certainly going to understand what you are going through and may well have similar issues himself that he is keeping in - so as not to stress or worry you.Why not try and set up a calm relaxing mood at your apartment and have an open discussion about this. You may well find that you can both reduce your anxiety levels by being open about it when the attacks come on as this will make you less worried about you partner or him less worried about you.It's good to talk - don't bottle it up.
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