A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in my late twenties and I was well overdue to leave home. I lived in the top half of my parents place. I paid my rent, cooked my food, did most of the household chores for everyone. I was living at home till my partner and I felt ready to take the next step and move in together. I think some people assume that if you live with your parents it's so they can cook, clean and pay your bills for you. Just want to clarify that was NOT the case with me.I lived there far too long. My family tormented me. I became the outlet for everyone's frustrations, as my younger sibling who lives there is struggling with depression. Instead of encouraging her to seek help, my parents just enable her behaviour by reassuring her that everything she says and does and all the hurtful things she's capable of and wreckless choices she makes, are all right. They've created a monster.A month ago, it just became all too much for me in the end. They were ripping into me about yet another petty thing - leaving a bowl in the sink, which I planned to wash that night. They told me to get out of the house and never to return. I packed my bags and left.I SHOULD have left so much earlier, but it's MY home too and it's not easy to just walk away.A month later, I now have a lovely apartment, which I rent with my boyfriend. We're happy together and he's the love of my life, but I still feel homesick! How can I miss the place I was living in that was 1/3 the size of where I am now, filled with people who treated me like **** they stepped on! I tried everything to make things work with my parents, but when people choose you as their emotional outlet, you may as well bang your head against a brick wall, nothing you say will change their mind.Most of the time I feel happy, but then I might remember something about my old home, or it happens to come up in conversation and I randomly burst into tears!! I've been gone for over a month now and my parents haven't picked up the phone to call and see how I am, where I'm living, who with etc. They have no idea. Everyday that goes by I feel this emptiness inside. Another day of silence and it reinforces my worst fear - that my parents never gave a **** about me and I was a nieve kid to believe they actually CARED deep down. How can I honestly feel HOMESICK for a place where I was tormented so badly? The emotional games they used to play that left me feeling like a worn out rag. I just don't understand myself!I would love to hear your advice.
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female
reader, cheers  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 Hi there.I deeply touch with your story
U are indeed a STRONG & KIND Hearted person. It's ok to feel homesick cos that's the place where you were born. I Think It's THE LOVE you've shown to them,let you feel thta way regardless how they treat you.
Pls make phone call to parents, checking how they're doing & bonding good relationship. Another thing, if you are able to help your siblling to see a doctor
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 This is a very sad posting. I feel so sorry for you and your horrible family life. As much as they tormented you, they were all the family you knew and so of course you miss them. Your homesickness will lessen in time. Perhaps also with time they may just figure out how much you mean to them and realize how out of line they were towards you. But if they never do I promise the pain will subside. Whenever you feel a wave of homesickness coming on, try to distract yourself with some activity and think about the lousy treatment you endured. Eventually you'll find yourself going for days without thinking about your family. The very best to you sweetheart.
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