A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cant seem to let go of my past. I don't know if its really bad but I'm just having difficulties with my self esteem. I kissed one guy when I was younger like 16. My first kiss. Then I got into a relationship, my first real bf when I was in high school and he broke up with me, played mind games, lied and I still had feelings for him for a lonnnggg time till I found out he lied about having sex with me, I cut him out my life. Then I took a guy to my high school prom and I kissed him on my prom night from h.s. and he decided to like me... but when I didn't return the feelings he proceeded to publicly call me boring. I have not dated not even talked to a guy during 2009. I went to one party, got extremely drunk and all I did was dance. I don't really know if I have what you would call a bad past but I just feel like everythng I have done was a mistake and I am an idiot. I feel guilt and shame every day and always feel like I have to prove myself to other people. How do I overcome and feel better about myself?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 January 2010):
You don't need to prove yourself. That's the point. You are who you are, and the right guy will like you for that. Teenage guys (and some older guys who never mature) aren't really that clued in to how women feel or think and such. I'm afraid you just had bad experiences with immature boys, rather than men. You've done really well for yourself. A lot of girls would have allowed themselves to be used to try and prove they were worth something. You stuck up for yourself. You don't need to prove anything. Hold you your head up high, keep on getting to know guys, and the right guy will come along.
A
female
reader, AuntieGeorgia +, writes (18 January 2010):
 Ok ...
try not to dwell on all the bad times in your past, concentrate on all the good ones!
Theres always someone out there worse off than yourself!
And just remember that not all guys are like the ones that you've previously dated.
Theres a perfect boy out there for you somewhere, And finding him might be hard, but when you do you will be happier than you've ever been before, just remember theres always light at the end of the tunnel.
And your never alone, theres always someone to talk to!
I hope i was helpful, and I hope you find your soulmate soon x
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A
female
reader, moonlight baby +, writes (18 January 2010):
everyone makes what they think is a mistake and everyone has bad expeiriences with gf/bfs but there is no need for you to feel ashamed. You havent done anything to be ashamed of.
with your first boyfriend you was right to cut him out of your life because its not good to have people like that in your life. If hes controling and a liar then you can do much better then that and you deserve someone better then that.
And the guy whos calling you boring just because he liked you and you didnt feel the same way.. LOSER it happens to alot of people when you like someone and they dont like you back but hes just overreactingto it and needs to get a life.
Also dont worry about not dating guys becuase you have had some bad experiences with guys and you obviously not ready to start seeing anyone yet. But thats honsetly nothing to be ashamed of. You dont need a guy in your life. But eventually you will find someone that wont lie to you or controll you and he will treat you how you deserve to be treated.
You dont need to prove anything thing to anyone. If its bothering you really bad just tell one of your friends how you feel and they will reassure you that you shouldnt be ashamed of yourself and that you should feel better abowt yourself.
Just dont let a couple of stupid boys take over your life
hope this was useful :) x
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