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anonymous
writes: I have been having an affair with a married man for 20 yrs. We have a 12yr old child. His wife is materialistic, I am emotional. She knows about me and child. How do I end something when there are still feelings?
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reader, Aunty Ann +, writes (21 April 2005):
Congratulations on making a decision! The hardest part of your journey is now over, provided that is that you stick to your guns and end a relationship that is going nowhere. You have been in limbo for 20yrs, unable to formulate a loving and intimate relationship of your own due to your attachment to this man. You ask how do you end something when there are still feelings? Your feelings for this man should no longer dominate your life. It is the feelings you have for yourself that should guide you from now on. By taking the brave decision to end this relationship, any painful emotions you experience will be countered by new and more worthy feelings you will gain for yourself. You will be reclaiming your life and your self respect. You will gradually regain your self esteem and find courage to live your own life by making this brave move. Any feelings you have for this man are no doubt compounded by the fact you have a child together. Don’t let these emotions cloud the issue. Is the life you are leading what you would want for your child? If not, lead by example and get satisfaction from being a good role model and parent. As you know in your heart, this man is not worth having, since you never really had him anyway! It’s going to be tough, but short term emotional pain will pay off for long term emotional gain. Keep busy, try and do new things, meet new friends. Remember this is the start of a new you, a new beginning. You have set yourself free of a limited existence, for a free unlimited life, full of possibilities and potential. Reach your potential! You know you can.Hope this helpsYours sincerelyAunty ANN
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