A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:While my husband was out, someone mistook him for being 10+ years older than he actually is. I think this has affected his self esteem a little (he's in his early 30s). I've been wanting him to take better care of his skin for years and he's always too lazy to (not because he looks older but just because I think anti-aging is preventative). How do I handle continuing to push for skincare without making it seem like its due to the recent experience?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 May 2017):
 You don't. It is as simple as that. Who are you to tell him what way to look after his skin? Personally I never use any skin care products. Plus I am always asked for ID'd and shocked when people find out my actual age. Sometimes it is not all about expensive creams. Personally I think I have good skin because I drink lots of water and don't use any harsh creams. But we are all different. Depending on what you mean by your husband having bad skin it could just be part off who he is. People suffer from acne, eczema and other things that need to be looked at professionally.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 May 2017):
 If it is affecting his self esteem then that is a burden on him.
Is the issue acne? Or black heads? You could book a pamperings couples face treatment at a dayspa and leave together feeling amazing.
Early wrinkles are made worse by lack of use of sun block and sun damage is the result. It becomes cumulative.
Is he out in the sun a lot without sunblock? Or does he drive a car with one of those roof ''windows'' that allow the Sun easy access to shine down on him, especially his scalp.
If yes this can result in small spots turning to cancer so sun block is essential.
Does he wear a hat to better protect his skin when he's enjoying outdoor activities.
But the skin is just an outer sign of what's going on inside him.
Does he drink emough water daily.
A beer is not water. Nor is a cup of coffee and nor is glass of wine or two.
Water cleanses the system. At least 8 glasses a day.
If he rejects water then try a cool bubbly pure soda water with a slice of lemon. It is refreshing.
Then, as mentioned by another poster, is what he eats.
Does he like lots of processed meat and add lots of sugar or very sweet syrups to his food and drinks, and icecream filled with lots of sweetener, cakes, candy, cereals with loads of added sugar in the cereal (before it is even topped with a spoonful of sugar), and prefer lots of salty snacks and fried foods?
NONE of these problem foods are going to help his skin look better.
If yes, then it's time to introduce some real food.
His skin tone will improve. With persistence and encouragement from you and others..
That means more vegetables (not fried) and salads and fresh fruit plus some legumes/ beans, chicken or fish that is not fried. Skim milk instead of regular milk. And eggs - scrambled, boiled and omelets. Yoghurt - plain not sweetened. And occasionally some lean meat. Especially look for colorful red and orange and yellow fruit and vegetables.
And as exercise encourage him to start a vegetable garden and grow some tomatoes. It's not too late to try to grow a few.
And arrange to go for walks together.
Find out what other exercise facilities are available in your area. Swimmimg is my number one favourite.
And if he smokes (another risk factor for skin damage and more) then encourage him to try a nicotine patch to wean him off smoking.
Praise him with every small step he makes in the right direction
Hold your resentment and Hold your criticism for any time he regresses and loses his way.
Positive reinforcement (when he does the right thing) wins every time and is far more effective motivator, than a barrage of negative remarks and criticism.
Encourage him with genuine delight whenever you see improvements and a willingness to put his good health (and thus good skin) FIRST as a priority that he wants to honour in his life.
Before you embark on these changes also book him in for a full medical. Ensure that it will be a detailed medical that checks all the risk areas, like blood pressure, and test his bloods for all manner of things, including cholesterol, and test his urine sample. This kind of very thorough health check is a good thing to check at least regularly. Such as annually or less often if the Doctor is very please with the outcome..
It will also establish a base line.
Then in another 12 months you will be able to measure just how much his health has improved, including his skin, with some lifestyle changes.
Let him know how much you care about him and that you want him around and THAT is why you want him to maximise his opportunity to enjoy good health when he's 40, 50, 60 and way beyond that too.
My good wishes to you in your quest to encourage him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2017): I think the best way you can help your husband have better skin is to improve his diet. Make sure you and he make healthy meals at home, and have a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables around the house. Also fit in some exercise. Do something active together that is fun.Also, there are a lot of new skin care products designed especially for men. Maybe you could pick something up for him to see if he wants to use it. My husband is more prone to use the stuff that is labeled for men.Even if they are not miracle solutions and don't change his skin overnight, they might give him a little boost to his ego and make him feel better for using them. And eating better will make him feel better physically too.Hope this helps. R
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 You dont. You need to leave him be. If he does not want to focus on skin care, then you need to respect this. I dont think its a matter of being lazy. Its a matter of what is important to you. To him, skin care is not important.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 The "beauty industry" preys on people's insecurities to sell them grossly overpriced mixtures of chemicals. The more they buy, the more hooked they become.
As someone who firmly believes that beauty comes from within, perhaps it would be better if you concentrated on boosting your husband's confidence instead of convincing him that, if he doesn't slap potions and lotions on his face, he is in some way inferior to those who do?
I assume he is a good kind man? Is that not the most important thing? Do you tell him regularly that you love him? Or do you add to his insecurity by telling him you think he falls short in some way because he refuses to adopt some costly time-consuming beauty regime?
If you want to help him, make sure he eats healthily. This in itself will improve his skin. And the most attractive thing someone can wear is confidence. Make sure he has it in buckets.
Just my advice.
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