| A
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: An explanationa and a question...I had a brief internet fling with a much younger friend of the family. It was never a love thing or even an attraction for me but i think it was more of an ego trip. Our families have been friends forever and he is roughly the age of my children. There was no physical contact by my choice and the initial contact was made by him. We are both married and it started out as friendship. We live in different areas. After 2 months of inappropriate texting I told my husband and broke it off. I cried and my husband cried and we have worked it out. He has been much better to me than i deserved. I sent a text explaining that i had done so and asking for forgiveness and asking for everything to be deleted and that i would not tell. There were a few pictures exchanged. He acknowledged my text, said ok. things were fine for a few weeks. Since that time everytime he knows I am in his area, he texts, and IMs me constantly wanting to know, who's with me and where we are and where im going to be. I don't contact him ever. Recently it has picked back up and i feel like he is verging on harrassment. There is never anything "inappropriate" in the texts now, just a hey dont forget me kind of mind game. i havent answered and he doesnt know that it really bothers me. What can i do to get rid of him without completely breaking ties. If i do people will notice. As i said we have been family friends for years and it will be obvious the 2 or 3 times a year that we are together if we don't act normal and chat. Help!!!!!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 You can disable your FB chat; click on Options and select "go offline". You can also put him on limited profile, and don't broadcast any personal activities on your status message. You will probably need to disable your IM or get another IM service if you absolutely need to send messages that way. Perhaps your husband can call or text him and politely let him know that the two of you are working on your marriage and he is not to contact any further. Due to the family relationships, I understand your need to handle this delicately, but don't let him blackmail you into continuing contact.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for responding ...if he texts or send a message private mail i do not respond. If he sends it publically on facebook, i do answer. One day i posted ' aww, i have the house to myself, such a rare treat. Im enjoying the peace and quiet.' IMMEDIATELY...he started texting, whats up. What are you doing? Etc. Thats the day i started feeling a little ...? And the past month it has been a continual thing. I could block the texts...but the IMs and the fb? He will just find another way i think. I keep thinking if i never say anything inappropriate...he will finally stop...but it seems to be escalating . I just want it to be normal like before but in reality...maybe it never will. Note* i am not pretty, or anything...and im in my 40s.
...............................
A
male
reader, Coolguy  +, writes (10 November 2009):
I think you need to be upfront with your friend. You can call him or meet him at a public place and tell him that what two of you went through was just a fling and that you want to put an end to the relationship. Tell him that you have informed your husband about the affair. You can reduce replying to his texts to once a week then forthnightly, monthly and then stop altogether. Cutting off abruptly may be what is leading him to send the texts. As you dont want a scandal, you want to thread sensitively but firmly so that no other person gets hurt. He is not able to read your mind. If he doesn't know that its bothering you, he wont stop. You need to tell him how things are in a diplomatic but firm way so that he can stop contacting you. All the best.
...............................
|
