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female
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*hrissymarie
writes: I am a 16 year old girl. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and things was going really good, until recently we have been falling apart. We barely talk to each other any more or even hang out. We fight about the littlest things. I try to talk to him about it, but he doesn't listen and he gets mad. Can someone give me advice on how to explain how I feel to him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2006): Hi Chrissymarie,
Good for you..glad you set some boundries. Those are so important to do, in a new relationship. But remember,if he ever makes you feel under-valued and disrespected for who you are-don't hesitate to tell him exactlt what you think. Because you want a healthy love where you are cherished and valued, for who you are, not demeaned and made to feel like crap. Remember, you don't ever have to tolerate bad behaviour from anyone. Keep the communication channels open and stay honest, and you both should be okay. I wish you all the happiness and keep believing in yourself and being a strong woman! Take Care
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female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (8 February 2006):
chrissymarie is verified as being by the original poster of the question i want to thank the ladies who gave me advice on my sit..... today at work my boyfriend came in when i was ready to leave, and i go over to where he was working and im like we need to talk and hes like about what and i told him that he needs to work things out with me to and open up to me or i will have to break it off.....
and that made him listen to what i had to say and he even talked to me about it then when he got home from work we talked about it and then tom. when i get home from work and he gets home from school we are meeting each other and we are going to talk more about it.......
i want to think you ladies for the advice, if it wasnt from you i would of never thought about breaking up with him, and now things are getting back together thank you soooo much
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A
female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (8 February 2006):
chrissymarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontoday when i seen my boyfriend at work i had to go over and talk to him about what has been going on and how i feel....and i told him stright out if he doesnt want to listen to me then i will have to break it off with him and then we talked for a half hour and then tonight when he got home from work we talked.....
and everything is back to normal with us we are talkin about our problems and working them out i want to thank the two people who told me to break up with him because you ladies made me relize that he really loves me and if i tell him that its going to be over if he cant listen and talk back, and it made him listen and talk back thank you so much!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2006): Why bother trying to explain? You should be asking yourself, why he is making you feel this way in the first place? Learn to discern his inappropriate behaviours as being the problem here (major red flag) If he's getting mad and not listening to you..then obviously, he's making you feel under-valued and disrespected. It's wrong and he should know that he can control his own emotions and responses. When a guy makes a girl feel bad about herself..dear, it's time to say 'see ya'. No one is worth handing our self-worth over to. (Never, ever let anyone tear you down-hold out for better) His behaviours should be telling you he's not worth your worries and concerns. Don't tolerate his BS-dump him, have fun with friends, work hard in school and someone who treats you much better will come along eventually. This is the time of your life where you are dating to learn about social skills, build your self esteem and having fun. Dating is learning and selection process, it teaches us to choose people wisely and think with our heads. Your 3 months with this guy is 'not a waste' of time...you learned what to watch out for in future boyfriends. You learn what you will and will not tolerate in future relationships, you learn how to discern the bad guys from the good guys. Dating is the learning ground for future adult relationships and helps you make the happiest, best choices for yourself, down the road. Good luck
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (7 February 2006):
 You are both changing, you are naturally drifting apart because you just are not right for each other, most of us have a lot of different partners before we meet the right one and settle down.
You need to seperate as soon as possible and go find someone who makes you happy as clinging to this relationship is clealy not.
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