A
female
age
30-35,
*XPoisonXx
writes:Dear Cupid:I am 20 years old, by boyfriend of nearly a year is 31. for the longest time, we have been happy and telling everyone that "age is just a number". But lately, I've been beginning to wonder if there really are problems related to age and/or maturity level. He is divorced with no kids, and i'm a college student and only child. the problems began with a silly, immature decision on my part. Long story short, a girlfriend and guyfriend of mine were over, boyfriend was at work. I ended up having some semi-drunk relations with the girl, but backed out when the guy tried to join in. I eventually ended up telling my boyfriend and of course he was very upset. i apoligized and told him how stupid i was and how i want to be with him. now several weeks later he keeps asking me questions like "what do you want out of this relationship?" and "do you really want to be with me?"I think i do, I think I want to be with him, I think i really love him, but how can he expect me to know for sure? how does anyone know for sure? I'm trying as best I can to make up for my mistake, but I wonder if he is really wondering if he wants to be with me. I'm scared that he he is now thinking that he cant be with me because i'm too immature, or something. How can I discuss all this without making things worse? or, is this relationship doomed?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 March 2010):
I can tell from what you've written here that this man is not the guy for you. I can tell you it.
First of all, there is no problem with an age gap, so long as that level of maturity is there. As of yet, I'm not sure you're ready for a committed relationship if you're getting drunk and kissing your best friend. That's not immature, it's just a thing that some young people do. You'll find as you get older, you won't do it.
Secondly, if when you were drunk you were there kissing your best friend, that's cheating. You wouldn't cheat if you were with the right man.
Thirdly, if he was the one, you would know. He wouldn't need to expect you to know, because you would know, no questions asked.
You're not immature. You're the same as any other young person. You're still out there finding yourself. He has already found himself, and is looking for something permanent. You're not ready for that level of commitment yet.
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