A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi there,wonder if anyone can give me some advice? i have an 11year old son by my ex. i have been with my new bf for 3yrs. my ex was a complete lowlife loser. he had affairs when i was pregnant and even let one girl he was seeing send me a death threat.he never did a days work and was the tightest man i know.as a consequence of catching him in his house with his bit on the side when i was 6mnths pregnant i had our son early.anyway it was doomed not to work (surprise)and i left him years ago. my problem is that he has been in a relationship for six years sponging of his gf(who seems to be earning quite good money)and has never given me a penny for our son. he tried to get back with me when he met his current gf and asked me to marry him with the ring he then went on to give her!of course i said no. i told her and she said she didnt believe me. i dont have a problem with her only pity. he picks our son up every other wkend and turns up in very flash cars, i know he has been claiming benefits the whole time.he has a 17yr old child and she has 3kids too.they take 3 foreign hols a year. i am on benefits and my bf doesnt live with me. he has lodgings. my ex has been giving me a paltry few pounds here and there purely because i forced him too after q big row.he is getting married in august and has now told me because hes coming off benefits he will not give me another penny. our son says that his dad is working so they must be raking it in. i assume he isnt working legally.he wrote to me saying he shouldve always been the one who buys stuff for our son and that he wont be giving me a penny. he never did until the last year and that was only when he felt like it? hes even wrote in the letter that hes been giving me money for years??? in case i show it to someone (sneaky scumbag)which is a total lie.hes messed me about with acess visits and changed them around and let our son down in the past on several occasions his holidays etc being the reason. i had to go to a solicitor to stop him messing us about.he has no scruples has been sponging off this women who has been living with him illegally (as hes been on full benefits)? he now expects to have our son as a pageboy at his wedding which he left to our son to tell me about? probably needs the money to pay for the wedding? i am soo angry i could explode but im trying to think of how else to deal with it rather than lashing out? any ideas?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 I don;t know what the laws are in your country - but here in Australia your husband would be liable to pay child maintenance. Why don;t you seek leagal advise? You are never going to get any satisfaction if you continue to try and deal with your ex...he's not worth it!!
The best way to get back at him is to not let him "get to you" and to not enter into stupid games with him - you have a right to have financial assistance from him to raise your son though, so do it through you solicitor and let him/her deal with his excuses and BS for you!!
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