A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First off, I know I probably can't do much if anything about this, but I thought I would ask for advice anyway. Background: Recently I organized a secret gift swap for the holidays at my new job. I got my assistant manager, who is around the same age/generation as I am, and got him what I thought was a hilariously ironic gift... Until I was out on the sales floor, and I ran into his girlfriend, who works in the same building. According to her, she "flipped out" when he brought home his gift and was talking about how cool I was to have gotten him "exactly what he wanted" (Well duh, we wrote down exactly what we wanted on the sign up sheet).I am friendly with him but I would not call us "friends". He is my supervisor and I am not friends with him on social media. When I socialize with people in my department we are usually all together, never one on one. He always talks about her and their kids. Anyway, the girlfriend had stopped to tell me she added me on social media, and that she apparently thinks I'm a "total angel" and not a "b* trying to steal (her) man". She then made a point of showing me her enormous diamond. I am not trying to steal her man, I'm happily married, which I've made sure my male coworkers know. I really, really do not want this person following me on social media. She creeps me out. How can I get her to step back without causing drama, or am I stuck now?
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (9 January 2019):
Block her!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2019): Block her on social media. She's only trying to keep an eye on you. You didn't have to accept her friend-request. You could have just ignored it.
She may be insecure; but she has a right to protect her man from women who buys him presents. He's your boss, you got him something he wanted, and you're female. That's a setup for all sorts of things. A promotion, to gain favor, or a flirtation. You're absolutely innocent of any of that; but how is she to know? If there's anything in nature that is as certain as the rain falls and the sun shines; women can see through each other, and rarely fool each other.
When you keep things professional and in proper perspective; you don't even have to let these things bother you. You've got a man, he's your husband, you love him, he loves you. You don't need her man! The End!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2019): I feel sorry for this lady. Everyone, including you, is judging her. Calling her psycho and insecure? Nobody here knows her. Nobody here walks in her shoes. Obviously she must go through a lot having these issues. She might need help and certainly more compassion. Maybe her boyfriend is a complete dick who has cheated on her before! You do not know what happens behind closed doors or really KNOW who this guy is outside work!
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (8 January 2019):
 Block her and forget about it.
You took part in a workplace Christmas activity, if she wants to cry about it then let her. Remain nothing but professional and put this behind you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2019): Don't get caught up in this woman's jealousy because that is what it is, she thinks she is hiding it but in her mind it is keep the enemy closer because no matter what she says she sees you as a threat, no reason to, you are innocent i know, but in her mind, well....
I would do what has already been suggested, she will get bored if you don't react to her and i am pretty sure someone else will catch her attention and she will focus on them. You owe this woman no explanation
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2019): I find your best leaving gift buying to family and close friends .. they never work out and as you secretly organised it .. of course under her view she wondering why ?
So next year I wouldn't bother .. safe all this hassle...
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (8 January 2019):
 Totally agree. Block her immediately. If she mentions it, say you don't like to mix work and private life. Be polite when you meet her but always be in a hurry to get somewhere else so you don't get stuck with her.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 January 2019):
 Just block her and dont have an open profile.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2019):
 Block her FROM your social media. Seriously, she IS creepy and possessive.
You didn't do anything wrong other than get a good gift for the swap.
I would have NOTHING to do with her WHATSOEVER, to chatting if you meet her (I'd just excuse myself and leave/walk away).
And then I would just be professional at work and keep avoiding any "alone" time with him, unless it's about work AT work.
BUT.... I SURE as hell wouldn't start walking on eggshells because she is insecure.
Nor would I ALLOW her access to my social media and friends....
Block her psycho ass from it all.
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