A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can i cover these bruises i got from my boyfriend and the scratches on my wrists that i did to myself because of him hurting me? They are fresh and just done today. Before u judge me about hurting myself. Its because my whole life from six years old i have been hurt, used, raped and sexually assulted by men and cant take it no more. Please help :.( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 You need to seek proffesional help, hurting yourself is very bad because it doesn't stop on its own and will only get worse.
Being with someone who makes you feel like hurting yourself is not the right thing to do. Being alone might be hard but it is really the only option until you sort yourself out with the aid of proffesionals.
Sure, you can cover up the bruises, long sleeves (winter is coming) and body makeup will do the trick. But it won't cover the scars inside that are only getting worse while you stay with this guy.
What has happened to you is bad, but there have been other people who have experienced the same and survived. Finding a support group to talk to, when you know they are talking from experience. To find out that it is NOT just you, that you are not alone and also to get advice not from well meaning strangers who can never truly understand but from people who have been in your shoes and won't judge you without knowing what you been through.
You can survive abuse without harming yourself, but you need to end this abusive relationship you are in and get help because you can't do it alone.
Cover up what has happened again and again and things will never change. When you were a child, you could not stop what happened, but you can now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Hun you need to tell someone who can do something in the way of getting this guy punished.
As for the self harm, I think we either all have or all will do it sometime. It's a part of life. I've done it. But I got over it.
Life can be hard sometimes but it'll get better, trust me.
We're all just here for the ride =)
-S
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): I disagree in some cases. Its not that self-harming is immediately bad and you must tell someone before you kill yourself. It releases emotional strain into physical strain and sometimes thats a good thing.
Its a way of coping.
However this is a very serious situation. You don't necessarily have to get help from a doctor but from the police. No one deserves this, no one, and this isn't the point of covering stuff up.
This might sound a lil unemphathic. But why do you stay with someone that hurts you so much? You can't possibly love him...but then that is as I've said just me not being understanding.
You don't have to go straight to the police. Tell a friend, tell someone so they can physically be there to support you through this.
We'll be here to help and advise on our opinions obviously...
You take care. You do need to get this sorted out before it gets worse.
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 You need to stop covering up and talk to someone...you cant go on living like this...you need help...for starters you should leave your boyfriend as no man should EVER hit a women you deserve so much better...and you only have one life so why waste it on the past and people who have hurt you...why let them win. Time for you to be brave and get the help you need. I would start with your doctors. Get help before its to late.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): PLEASE PLEASE get away from that man!!! You are too precious to be hit and bruised! You need help with a councelor yourself!! Please get help before it is too late! And he needs to be turned into the police! Take pictures of the bruises and turn him in!!! TODAY!!!! You are too precious to be used as a punching bag!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Self-harming is NEVER, EVER OK.. It's not something you should have to just live with. If this is the way you deal with problems, then you need to seek help and find new ways to cope. GO TO YOUR DOCTOR STRAIGHT AWAY. You may feel that you know what your doing, but what if one day you cut yourself to deep. You can't hide this thing, your boyfriend will notice one day. You really must go and seek help...
Telling us was a very huge step for you, and for that you should be very proud of yourself. You have made a large step towards health and happiness, but I need you to do more. You present as 18-21 and currently living in Australia. You are much too young to be so unhappy with life. You and only you can change your life. You need to sort this out, you need to find ways to change. This is your responsibility to yourself, you need to treat yourself better, you need to love you, it's not right to punish yourself like that.
I need you to take responsibility for your life. You've been hurt, you've been abused. Well these things happen in life. You can either continue to sit there and slice and cut yourself, or you can show courage, learn to be brave and change your life and embrace happiness for a change... Do you have the courage to change. Can you take the second step towards happiness and health. Please read this article and contact these people. They are the experts they know what to do to help you change your life... STOP HIDING, SOMEBODY WILL FIND OUT ONE DAY.. YOU NEED TO GET HELP AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR GOOD.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Self_harm?Open
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (30 September 2008):
Oh well if it's happened your whole life then that's ok then? Why should anyone be bothered that you are still getting hurt?
Will you listen to yourself?? I really hope this post is a cry for help.
Get out of any relationship that is causing you harm and get help for your mental health.
Good Luck!! xx
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