A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very happy for a friend of mine-but also jealous.A friend's husband just got an amazing job promotion. They are going to move to another state and he is going to be making a "once in a lifetime" salary. He was already making considerable money, so I can assume this raise will put him past any margin I could ever hope to attain financially.I am happy for her (and them) but sad that she is going to move and jealous. It feels like she is the latest in my group of friends to keep moving forward in their lives in a positive way, while I feel stuck. I'm a single (engaged now) Mom and work for the wonderful world of academics, so my salary will always be rather low. My fiance, while wonderful, is still at an entry level point in his career and has two kids of his own to support. It is icing on the cake that my ex (child's father) is a jerk who also makes more money than I will likely see in this lifetime.What can I do to cope with these bitter and jealous feelings?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): First of all, stop comparing what you have to what the other guy has.
We all have our turn at receiving blessings. Your blessings may come in other ways, and making more money isn't always proof people are happier.
Making more money brings on more responsibility, and more complicated problems. The other family is being relocated; uprooting their lives, and losing their friends. Their kids will miss their friends. The cost of living may be much higher than where they're living now. Displacement often causes friction in marriages, and feelings of isolation; because people are further from their parents and siblings.
They have to readjust to a new environment, make new friends, deal with unfamiliar neighbors, and it's like starting life all over from scratch. I know how that feels, I had to do it.
You chose the field you wanted, and the type of work you feel you have a gift for. Sometimes the reward for what someone does, may not come with decimal-points and dollar signs. If you're not earning enough; then you supplement your income with something part-time.
People make career changes all the time. You could always return to school; and choose another field with better earning-potential. You could always work toward a higher position as principal, or superintendent of your school district. If you choose not to do that, what sense is there in feeling envious of others? Sometimes you don't appreciate what you have, until you lose it altogether.
It all comes down to a matter of personal-ambition, your education, and how you have chosen to make a living.
Count your blessings. There are unemployed people trying to take care of their families with no job, struggling on social-programs or unemployment benefits, trying to keep food on the table, a roof over their heads; while trying to keep their families together through the hardship. Some families are facing foreclosure, or eviction. Try volunteering to help the less fortunate. Your bitterness and jealousy will subside.
A
female
reader, peteloevely  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 i can totally understand how you feel, and there is nothing i could probably say to convince you that a bit more money isn't going to make you any happier, but whilst you compare yourself to those who have it, you really taking your life for granted.you have children, a man that loves you and you are surrounded by positivity and a complete life, your husband works, regardless of how much he makes and you are all well taken care off, don't get blinded with the spotlight so much you forget how good you actually do have it, you are doing what you like , the best road to money.you don't know how this is impacting your friend's life and marriage, she could be happy her husband is doing better and at the same time saddened and torned she is leaving her old life behind, who knows if she will fit wherever she is going, perhaps where she is moving to she is the least archeaver and she feels the exact same way you feel about her, like her life isn't good enough.i see this sort of vicious cycle all the time, people who get overwhelmed by all the things they do not have or can't afford, and forget to enjoy what they do have.regardless you don't know how life is gone go, or how far you will get, you are on your early 30s with a family and a fiance, there is many ways to improve your income and push yourself to make more money, fear NOT do not limit your self.for now, just keep those negative feelings to yourself and put the best fake happy face you can manage, she is still your friend and deserves it, be there for her like you would want her to be there for you. worst case scenario you have a rich friend you can count on :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 April 2015):
 Count all your blessings. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for what you have. Remember that having money isn't a guarantee of happiness.
If you aren't happy with feeling stuck, explore ways of getting unstuck.
Remember that you are more fortunate than most people on this planet.
Perhaps it's time to find a different yardstick for success than money? How about job satisfaction? A healthy child? Having the freedom to make your own decisions?
You just need to walk in the shoes of someone who is less fortunate than you for a while.
Try some mindfulness techniques, meditation or yoga to get back in touch with yourself.
Best wishes.
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