A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi hope someone can help my boyfriend is very closed off emotionally We've been together nearly 2 years we never argue and in the summer he moved in with me but the problem is he has never told me he loves me or never shows me any affection I've looked on his Facebook page from when he was younger at the messages he sent his ex girlfriend he would send messages with just kisses and call her darl I get nothing like that from him I'm just very unsure as to whether he loves me or not I can't ask him because he doesn't like talking about things like that are any suggestions thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2015): this is a very strange situation. i think hes just with you to make his ex jealous. Also the fact hes more affectionate to her suggests he has feelings for her and not you. sorry hun but what are you doing in this relationship? he obviously isnt right for you. you deserve a guy who treats you right and makes you feel special and that guy is DEFINATELY not him
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (8 December 2015):
This is bad. But it is so much worse when you report that he was affectionate with a past girlfriend. It is unlikely that he had some life-altering, catastrophic event that changed him from being affectionate to not affectionate. For some reason he sticks with you despite not feeling any affection or love toward you. It is time to change boyfriends and get somebody who loves you the way you want to be loved.
At least he is being honest and not telling you he loves you when he doesn't.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2015):
 I agree with the Aunties and uncle here. You need to talk to him WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT! You are not getting your needs fulfilled, you are not feeling loved.
Saying I love you STILL means something to most people. And for him to have never said it in 2 years... well, it speaks volumes.
It's nice that you never argue. Arguing doesn't mean people love more or less. It just means they are either a good match, good at problem-solving, good at compromising or... in your case not very emotionally involved with each other.
Living WITH you doesn't "prove" love either. It can be it's just convenient for you both.
So yes, I do think you need to put on your big girl panties and sit him down. HE needs to know that you don't feel loved. Even for someone who isn't all about SAYING "ILY" - they can still show it it many ways.
Maybe this would be a good ice breaker :
https://m2mbatesville.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/lovelanguagetest.pdf
http://www.polyu.edu.hk/sao/publications/emagazine/issue133/love%20language2.pdf
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
 My suggestion that if you want to be with a man who isn't closed off emotionally and will be okay talking with you about things like love, that you find another man.
Does he do things that indicate love and care?
Yes? Then suggest to him that you'd also really appreciate being told that he loves and cares for you. Even a guy who is naturally reserved and quiet about it will find a way to ensure you know you are loved and appreciated.
No? Then if you've been together for 2 years and he won't/can't talk about loving you then it is about 2 years past time to move on from him.
If you have children together then be sure he is financially responsible for them, but do move on, as whatever is going on in this home isn't healthy for you or a child.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2015):
 When I met my husband he told me "I don't say I love you" and he didn't for a very very very long time.
now he says it occasionally. but he also shows me he loves me. the reason he never said it was because he never had a reason to say it. (in other words he had never been in love)
"I can't ask him because he doesn't like talking about things like that"
oh well too bad. ASK HIM... WHERE DO WE STAND?
if he won't talk about it... end the relationship because you are not getting what you need.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 December 2015):
 When someone doesn't tell you that they love you... especially, if/after you've told them that you love him or her...... then, LISTEN TO THEM!!!!
BT/DT....
Good luck...
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