A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:To summarize a long story, I told my best friend of 12 years (opposite sex) that I loved her and would like our relationship to become boyfriend / girlfriend. She has many issues, with the main being incredibly low self esteem. She has been used in the past and believes she is the most ugly creature on the planet! She says she is an embarrassment to her family (of course she isn't). She doesn't understand why I want to date her. Point is, knowing she doesn't want a relationship at the moment (she's been single and not looking since she's had a bout of depression/low self esteem), I asked if she viewed me as a potential boyfriend and she said yes. We have started to kiss etc but the low self esteem is holding her back because basically she can't understand how on earth I can find her attractive, and when I kiss her she thinks I am doing it to be nice or give her a confidence boost as she just doesn't understand no matter how much I say or do that I think she is beautiful. My question is, in particular to anyone who has had self esteem issues, if you ever regarded yourself unattractive, how would that show to someone who said they had an interest in you? Would you shy away from them? Avoid kissing? Have you ever thought "well he says he likes me but he's talking rubbish" or similar. Any views/thoughts are welcome.I should stress me and her are very, very close. We are both in our mid 20s.
View related questions:
best friend, confidence, kissing, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AmorousElement  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 She sounds alot like me ^^'' I use to be the same way. But the best way to try to help her with her low self esteem is making her feel special. Tell her you think she' the most kindest beautiful person in the world and say that you don't care if she thinks she's ugly, and that you think she's beautiful, and even if she wasn't beautiful that you'd still love you for who she is. She will notice in time that it's not sympathy because if it was you wouldn't be staying by her side. :) So just wait for her, take it slow. It takes awhile to boost up someones self esteem so just start by complimenting her once or twice a day and making sure you treat her like she's something precious too you.Good luck ^^
|
