A
female
age
41-50,
*oraatuha
writes:Me my boyfriend have a child together and he also has a child from his first relationship...often he goes to spend time with his other daughter and it's really getting on my love.He loves his daughter very much but sometimes I hate the fact that he does....I know it's bad of me to feel jealousy and comparing our daughter with his...and I hate how I feel...and I do....So to control these feeling that can run out of hand...I give myself space through silence...which hurts me...But I think it's the only thing that can keep me sane...How can I control feeling jealousy when his calling me every time telling me how his daughter is amazing....our daughter is still very young by the way...I am thinking of ending this relationship and letting him have visitation rights , without him clouding me with his other life...Note: the mother of the daughter won't let her go...so we can't live with her...HeLp
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2014): I'm not religious, but AMEN to Cerberus' observation. I'm new, so I had no idea about all of your previous.... issues. I'm sorry for your mental state because you either need counselling to find out why you allow yourself to make such bad decisions, or you're just trolling on the good advice of others. Neither of which shows happiness and mental stability, sadly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 March 2014):
 Standing ovation to Cerberus's post. He is SPOT on.
YOU need serious help, and not from a website. Find yourself a therapist and deal with these destructive issues.
THAT is my advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): To clarify you didn't post that last one, you posted in it but it is an example of your behaviour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): OP you do realise this is your daughter's sister you're talking about right? Not some stranger stealing his attention but the apple of your eye's flesh and blood.
It's time for you to understand that she may not be your daughter but she's as close as you can get in that she's your daughter's blood.
Time for you to see she's not an outsider but very much a part of your family and it's time you treated her with the same respect.
Forgive me OP, but what kind of bullshit is your 'Note' at the end? You make it sound like a bad thing that a mother would choose to care for her child and doesn't want to let her live with you to ease your jealousy, like she's being unreasonable or something.
Look I've just been reading your previous questions and you posted almost the exact same thing in 2011.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-broke-up-with-him-because-hes-still.html
You then post this one:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-be-of-support-to-my.html
Ten days after that you turn lesbian and start talking about a woman whose panties you want to sniff or whatever:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-she-scared-or-leading-me-on.html
Same thing 3 days later:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-in-love-with-my-female-bestfriend-whos.html
And now a year later here you are back again with the exact same jealousy issues you came to us 3 years ago about.
If this is the all about the same guy then what the hell were you thinking having a kid with him? If not then why the hell are you going near guys at all when a. you're in love with a woman, and b. you're so insanely jealous and possessive that your own daughter's sister makes you crazy.
You steal the guy away from his ex with whom he has a child with and now you're going to dump him because he loves his other daughter?
I'm sorry OP, I don't feel right advising you of anything other than to get some serious help, if you're not a troll and are being serious here then you have some serious narcissistic delusions going on and we really are not qualified here to help you.
You consistently make bad decisions spanning years as evidenced on this site and you just continue on doing them.
No offence OP, I know you're flag is the UK but you sound like you're from a different planet, a planet of you. where what you want only matters and you're only here for people to help you regardless of what's best for boyfriend or even your daughter. Has your child even met her sister yet?
Anyway OP do what you want, if this is the same guy then this is just history repeating itself and another part of your messed up games. Seriously consider getting professional help here, OP. Even the way write...is melodramatic...as hell.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (26 March 2014):
 You need to research the word 'compassion' and what it means. You need to understand that you own nobody and you have no rights to deny a daughter her Fathers love.
How would you feel if he left you for someone else and that other person resented him seeing your daughter. What goes around comes around. As Eyeswideopen said, you knew he had a child.
How do you overcome this jealousy....you GROW UP, you understand COMPASSION and you accept REALITY.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 March 2014):
 Well Honey you knew about his daughter when you started dating the guy. You knew about the daughter when you allowed yourself to get knocked up. He sounds like he has enough love to spread around and is a good father. If you can't overcome this and need to end the relationship then at least make sure your daughter gets to spend as much time as she can with her father. Next time find a man with zero baggage with whom to have a child, you can't handle otherwise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): I think his previous partner feels jealous of you and your child, just like you feel jealous of her kid. Important thing is, this man is with you now, you've got a child. You need to try and accept that his daughter will always be a part of his life. Maybe you could organise a day out, for everyone including his ex. You never know. You may turn out to be friends'''
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2014): How would it make you feel any better if she lived with you? You get annoyed with how he gushes about her (which I'm sure he does about your daughter, just not to you because you already know), why would her presence make you feel any different?I don't blame you for feeling the way you do; it's difficult to deal with - but, if you leave, wouldn't you be starving your daughter of 24/7 love from her father because you feel jealousy towards her half-sister? How much time do you and your daughter spend with his daughter? Maybe you need more family outings so you can feel more comfortable.I'm sure you can see that nobody deserves this because it proves he's a good father and it's not either of the girls' faults. You can change how you feel, but I don't think breaking up will do that. Have you considered getting counselling for yourself to control it and hopefully help it fade away so your daughter can have a great relationship with all of her family members?
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