A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend split up with me due to the fact that he couldn't continue with the stress of work and a relationship. We concluded to be friends. I soon found out that he'd lied to me about a hell of a lot of things and he'd said some stuff about my best friend ( who I will not have ANYTHING bad said against.)As well as this he told all his friends lies about me and told them a lot of my personal stuff. Now, I didn't cheat, I didn't lie, I didn't do anything wrong as far as I know. So why is he treating me like this?I feel extremely angry and I keep yelling at people if they talk about him because I can't stand to think about how he hurt me. My heart starts racing and I feel like hitting something. I feel angered by the fact that if his name is mentioned, my best mate goes silent coz she knows what he's been saying about me but she won't say. I feel anxious about seeing him in the street and I feel very angry just thinking about him.Anyway to control my anger?
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female
reader, Carina  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 This is a horrible situation to be in. No wonder you feel so angry. First: accept that you have a right to be angry and if you really need to let it out then thump a pillow! Sport is another way of getting rid of some anger, so, if you can try taking up something like kick boxing.
A brilliant way to get rid of negative feelings about someone is called visualisation. Sit somewhere quiet and get totally relaxed. Then imagine this guy up close and in colour. Imagine how he looks, smells, sounds etc. Then in your imagination, put him on a train with all his baggage. Wave good bye and watch the train disappear, becoming black and white and fading until it's a tiny speck. Whenever you feel anger welling up in you go back to thinking of that image of a tiny black speck in the distance.
He's not worth you getting emotional about. He's obviously very immature and uncaring, so work on forgetting about him as soon as you can. Remember that indifference is more hurtful than anger. You can do it!!
A
female
reader, love-him  +, writes (12 May 2007):
 rite wat u need 2 do chick is block this man out of your life, hes messed you up already! what he said about your friend is well out of order and i am sure he knows that. if someone mentions his name, instead of shouting at them, say calmly id rather not talk about him please..make sure they understand that its a no-go situation, and i am sure they will back off. hun, anyone who lies to you and tells people your personal life, arnt worth it, dont you get angry, because that is what he wants, when you see him,look away and remember hes the toss*r and deserves none of your attention. hope i helped x x x
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