A
female
age
41-50,
*addysangel
writes:ok how do i change myself and not make my fiancee mad to where he takes his anger out on me and how do i change myself to be a better person so we dont break
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): You're really going to have to post some more info if you want the people here to actually give you some advice. Your post is way too vague
If you mean he physically takes his anger out on you because of a drug addiction for example, it's his problem, not yours. But if you're causing the anger by sleeping around with other guys and he's just verbally having a go at you then you have no right to complain.
^^I think those extremes probably demonstrate why you need to post a lot more info
A
female
reader, hibiscus  +, writes (2 November 2008):
I agree with Gemini! you should never have to compromise who you really are for someone's love. There is a saying that goes "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for someone I am not"! You should never compromise who you are. If he's having issues with you now, thinks will only get worse once you are married.
It sounds like he might be the one with the problem
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A
female
reader, kate08 +, writes (2 November 2008):
if your man is having problems you should not change yourself to make him happy. and i would fix this before you get two get married.
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506  +, writes (2 November 2008):
Hunni don't feel that you have to change for someone. It sounds like your fiancee has the problem not you. If you feel there are problems in your relationship then talk it out or even see a counsellor. But never feel like you have to compromise yourself for someone else.
x
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (2 November 2008):
 heya hun.
you havent got to change. you changing wont stop him taking his anger out on you. he needs to find another release. e.g. maybe sports, music, drawing what ever. but you can not change in a way to stop him taking the anger out on him. make it clear you have had enough, and that he needs to do something about his anger. you sound like a too good person for the fact you are willing to change for somebody else. but dont change for anybody. the best person you can talk to about this is your fiancee. if he doesnt get the message and keeps abusing you then maybe he doesnt deserve you. take care. chris
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