A
female
age
26-29,
*yx shootingstar
writes: I've been best friends with my best friend for 5 years now. I love her and she has always been a great best friend. Except for this past year or so. We've never faught or anything. But this year she's changed dramatically! I can barely even trust her anymore. We got in a fight about 2 months ago and she completely abandoned me, talked trash on me and everything.. but were over it now. She's been hanging out with a girl who is bad news. Not a good person. Put it that way. And she's changed my best friend completely. When i try to talk to her about it she agrees with me but keeps on doing what she's doing. How can I change her back?
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female
reader, Aylarsh +, writes (13 July 2009):
You simply can not change her back. You need to distance yourself from her so that you do not end up like her. If she realizes that she is going to lose you then she will quit this toxic relationship IF she is a good friend. if she continues her behavior find better friends. sorry. we all lose a good friend sooner or later and you are at a point in your life where you can become like her, or become someone better. leave her to solve her own problems.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): There isn't any way you can change another person, the only person you can control is yourself. You've told her how you feel about the other girl's bad influence so that is about all you can do.
She hasn't been a best friend to you lately, and sometimes friendships end because people do change or outgrow each other and that is part of life. Don't change who you are to keep her around, just keep being yourself and choose some other friends to hang around and let her figure out for herself the mistakes she is making. And in time she may come around on her own, especially if the bad influences get her into trouble of some sort.
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