A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Right first, background info. My parents got divorced when I was 9 (I'm 15 now), I wasn't eaxactly happy about it (who would be?) but I wasn't completely cut up either, I mean the pair of them argued pratically every single day, so I knew we were all going to be better off for it. About maybe six months or so my dad got a girfriend who had two kids from her last marriage, a boy who was 4 (He's 10 now) and a girl who was 2 (Now 8). I know that in some divorces the kids aren't involved but in this one, me and my older brother were and we were expected to choose sides from early on, I, of course, chose to stay with my mum. I still saw my dad, for the first years only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then whenever I wanted though.Anyway, lets move onto to now. My dad is still with the girlfriend mentioned before and they live together with her two children and my brother that moved in with them about a year ago. The situation has changed a little now and I hardly ever see my dad, mainly only seeing when he drops off my brother or picks him up from here, because of some things he did a few years ago.The thing I'm writing about though is that fact that it seems to of hit as of late that he's my dad, and he barely even knows me! I mean I go round and it's just so completely awkward, and then I think that in a few years time that his girlfriend's daughter will have lived with him longer than me and it just makes me so angry and upset about it all because it's like I don't even have a dad any more even though he only lives like three villages away.I mean we try to connect, he takes me places every now and again and we talk on the odd occasion that I go through to his but we have nothing in common at all, I mean I know I'm a girl and he's my father but still, there has to be something we talk about! I mean sometimes I feel like he doesn't even like me. And whenever I do go round there, I always feel like I'm betraying my mum, she doesn't make me feel guilty about it or anything, she wants me to have a good relationship with him but I always feel so bad about.Sorry it's so long and I seem to go off track a little, but this has been bothering me for a while. I just want to know how I can help bridge the gap between me and my dad, you know without feeling guilty that I'm doing something horrible to my mum or worrying that my dad see's his girlfriends daughter more as his kid then he does me.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 You've had great advice. All I would add is that you suggest some time for just the two of you together. Ask him to take you for lunch once in a while, or out for tea. You need to get to know one another. If I were him, I'd be thrilled that you care enough to approach him about your relationship.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 June 2010):
I'd suggest writing him a letter basically telling him how you feel,, just as you have in your post. Men are notoriously rubbish at not reading between the lines and seeing all the hints and such. So just tell him that you feel like you've drifted apart and that you're worried unless something is done you'll never be the same. If that doesn't kick him into gear, nothing will. And speak to your mother as well. She'll want to know how you feel.
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