A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've know my friends for years now and I know what they are. From the start, they have been backstabbing one another. They seem nice and all but when you are gone, they'll start gossiping. No matter truth or rumors, they always spread them fast then either act like they don't know anything or blame it on the people who were being spread. Of course I was never spared but they're my school mates and I only have them. If I were to leave them, I would have no one in the class to talk to. Even though I'm always the listener to all the gossips, they seem to always drag me in when something happens. Then when I say I'm not involved, they'll say that I'm being a loser by not admitting a thing. Some of these friends had been ruining my relationship from the start. They tried to convince my boyfriend that I'm the worst girl ever, saying that I have bad temper, I'm always such a bitch or I have relationship with other guys! One of them even loudly proclaim to everyone when I made a casual remark to my boyfriend to stop flirting with her (he took her book and refuse to return). Then she made horrible remarks to everything action I make. Am I the one at fault for suspecting that she likes my guy?(She has a boyfriend too, and they're in a terrible relationship.) She is always following him in classes which I have different from them! Even my friends asked if she like him! At the starting of the relationship, this girl actually tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me because everyone rumored that I had another guy and she even held him! (Thank god she still does not know that everyone is stabbing her and spreading around that she had had sex with her boyfriend!)I've always been talking good about them. I even protected them when my boyfriend made remarks about them. I know they're really bad but I don't know how to leave. Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): Just tell them that you can't be friends with them anymore.When they ask why, be frank, and tell them exactly why you've chosen to do this. You don't deserve to have fake friends like this. They don't know what real friendship is. It may be hard, but just say it. Express your feelings and don't feel guilty about it because you're doing the right thing.When you see them at school after you tell them how you feel, ignore them. Don't let them drag you back in. Try to find some new friends, I'm sure you can. And if you can't, then just be strong. You're almost out of school, aren't you? Hope I helped.xxx
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 June 2009):
 If you don't want to be part of the gossip SPEAK up. You don't have to not have any friends, but you CAN set limits as to what you want to be involved with.
Some people ENJOY the gossip, others enjoy making up gossip just to get the attention of a good story. Then you have the people who just can't stand the gossip but still gets dragged into the gossip and drama.
You can say :"hey, lets not talk smack about so-and-so when they aren't here."
Or say frankly and honestly,:" I don't want to partake in the gossip. I don't like when people talk about me behind my back, so I will not do that to others."
Or the simple approach, can we talk about something else?
How much longer will you be around these people? 1 more year? If you start to ignore the gossip, you might teach them a thing or two.
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