A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have double standards about girls. i've been in love a couple of times and been cheated, while i'm in a relationship im always faithful but i think i have some misogyny problems too. long story short i come from a very dysfunctional family, my parents got divorced when i was a child because he used to hit her and sleep with other women, since then my mom has been cheating on every boyfriend she has had.so far i have slept with a little bit over 150 girls. i lost the count, this includes one night stands, fwb and prostitutes.now i have been dating an awsome girl and i love her very much, im faithful and intend to remain so, but my head is so messed up because some of my female friends have cheated on their boyfriends and husbands, i have been cheated on and i grew up in an enviroment in which infidelity and double moral was normal. now im having trust issues because of what i've seen. i think all girls are potential cheaters. i suffer from depression too because of it.now that i've found the love of my life i dont completely trust her but i want to and im working on it, she doesnt know anything about this and so far i have not shown my insecurities or jealousy to her but i suffer in silence every time she goes out with her friends, she has also a male best friend who i suspect likes her, she is a very attractive young girl and i dont want to destroy our relationship because of my issues. any advice other than counselling?
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female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Almost same story here except I should be stripping or a porn star by now based of my dysfunctional family upbringing training program next to that would be a profession as a nun lol. Seriously decide if you want that girl, love of your life, to be the last not just 151 but numero uno. We all have trust issues. If you know you know you cant be faithful due to your lifestyle of getting what you want when you want. Then dont waste her time or you time. With me I'm all your faithful loyal until you fuck over me. Then I move on cause the respect is gone and I know my worth. What one doesn't want another will treasure or at least appreciate. Therapy could help, try it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): You sound EXACTLY like my boyfriend, I almost thought for a second it might have been him who wrote this (but I know it is not, he's been passed out for hours). Ya know, unlike him, you are very realistic about your upbringing. You are very aware of its dysfunction. I feel like the first step to any sort of improvement is to acknowledge where things are going wrong...as opposed to denying reality or creating distortions...
Advice other than counseling? I don't see anything wrong with counseling...in addition to that I think you should emotionally detach yourself from your parents....parents with no moral integrity and who lead double standards, probably don't know what's best for you...even though their intentions may be auspicious. Like my boyfriend's parents, they want the "best" for him but they have put him through some really traumatic circumstances and their own dysfunctional psyche doesn't really allow anything positive to come out of anything he does no matter how positive their intention may be. With them, every step forward requires him to take two steps back. It's kind of sick. They are completely unaware of how F-ed up they are. Fortunately, my boyfriend is somewhat aware. But unfortunately he has so much empathy toward them and he is so damaged by them that he allows them to infiltrate his life more than he should.
I say, cut the emotional attachment you have with them and go to therapy to help you cope with your involvement in a non dysfunctional NORMAL relationship.
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