A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I've been with by boyfriend for a year now and just spend a lovely week together over Christmas with his family after spending 5 weeks apart. Were semi long distance but text daily. Everything was great and we have 2 holidays lined up in Jan and Feb. Out of the blue he said when returning from the one he feb he wouldn't be travelling to visit for 2 months as he wanted to concentrate on his fitness. I got upset and we disagreed but in the end after talking we resolved and he said he just wasn't thinking, loves being with me and is happy with the way the relationship is going and I shouldn't be so sensitive.but since his gone home his been quiet distant not texting, saying he now csnt commit to a future planned holiday due to work and we can just go somewhere last minute.Do you think his freaking out about the level of commitment I expect? I've left him alone as I appreciate he might just need his own space but there always seems to be a cycle, me spent time together being over sensitive at times we have little disagreements then he retreats.from experience how can I break this cycle and bring us closer or is he already losing interest? Many thanks
View related questions:
christmas, long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (6 January 2013):
 Yes, he's being unreasonable. He wants to see you on HIS terms. He's not concerned about your wishes.
Do you really want to put up with this? The ball's in your court.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies,so you think his being unreasonable? I did but then I feel at times I might be over reacting & he feels I'm preventing him from doing whst he wants. X
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (6 January 2013):
How do you break the cycle? Well, seeing as how HE won't change, YOU need to make up his mind for him - namely, by giving him the boot.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 January 2013):
 What he's "telling" you is that he likes to see you on HIS terms.... and that YOUR terms are of no importance......
AND, YOU now have an opportunity to VALIDATE his position (that it doesn't really matter what you think or want).... OR, to stand up for yourself and tell him, "I really like you... and would like to spend time with you... BUT if you're dumb enough to think that I'm going to put up with your waffling shinanigans you are sadly mistaken..."
Then, go silent... and remain silent..... 'til the end of time.... Because this guy isn't worth your time/effort.
Good luck.....
...............................
|
