A
female
age
22-25,
*erryblaster
writes:Hi, i need help with stopping myself from crying when i get hurt. I was doing a taekwando tournament, i am a white belt and the person i was sparring with was a black tag. She battered me and punhed me in the face and head till i fell to the floor. I started crying and it was really embarrasing because everyones perants were looking at me. I get worse when people make a fuss around me asking if im ok. How can i control my anger? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2016): Don't stop crying! It is bullying you to cause you pain!It is downright disgraceful!Both my daughters became brown belts without anyone in the group battering them!Complain about undue force and be angry too because it's not the spirit self defence to inflict injury or pain on a beginner!It's all wrong so look for a better club!Mr Meyagi says, "Look for a better club!"You seen the film yes? Karate kid versus bad battering kind of club!Very disrespectful to new member!Get new club and don't fight for them!And they trying to make you feel guilty!All wrong!Very wrong!No good club!
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (12 September 2016):
 Is it anger you are feeling that is leading to tears, or is it pain? Or frustration? What emotion/feeling is triggering your tears? Try to figure that out, and you may be better able to learn how to effectively deal with it better.
In general, I understand the response about not being ashamed of crying, however, as someone who played soccer very competitively from childhood 'til adulthood, I understand not wanting to look weak in front of the competitor.
How you internalize pain/emotions can be mental. For me, there's not a lot you can do to me that is going to make me cry. I will feel the pain, be it physical or emotional, but I can remain stoic on the outside. How? I'm not sure I can answer that. I suppose it's just mind over matter. You can train you mind to cope with many different things. Next time you feel the urge to cry and you really want to hold it in, stop, take a deep breath, and try to compose yourself. Try to make your brain stop focusing on the pain/emotion you are feeling and focus it on something/anything else. It takes practice just like anything else.
Good luck.
And as was previously mentioned - why on earth are you fighting a black tag? That doesn't seem fair at all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 September 2016):
 How?
Be OK with crying.
There is no shame in crying.
Be OK with losing to someone with more experience.
There is no shame in that.
I guess some of your tears were partly because of the pain, surprise and "embarrassment" in getting your ass kicked, but hey THAT is how you get better!
Talk to your instructor. He might be able to give you some tips to "suck it up" until you are in the locker-room if that would make you feel better.
I did Judo as a kid and so did my older brother, I caught on faster than he did and many many times did I wipe him in practice, and better kids than me... they dragged me on the mat. For me? It motivated me to become better and next time beat them.
Learn to find your calm. It will not only help with your temper, it will help you in your life. For some the "count to 10" work, for others breathing exercises, others hold it in, in public and let it out, in private.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (12 September 2016):
 That's not anger, that's pain. I did taekwondo for two years and tournaments hurt - crying isn't shameful, but you have to push through it, if you're committed to it. That said, a black tag shouldn't fight a white belt. If they do, they should not fight hard as you are too inexperienced to defend yourself properly.
Talk to the mentor and ask if they can go a little easier, so that you can learn more first.
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