A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex an I haven't been close for about 2 years now...the reason for that is that she loved me physically and emotionally. but i was just attracted to her physically. we messed around and because of that i care about her now emotionally. she says i hurt her and led her on but she also hurt me. throughout high school we were more than friends but we never dated..hence her saying i led her on..which i understand to a point..she then on went to "break up" with me and wanted to become true friends but i rejected it..i wanted to stay more..idk if it was because i liked her physically or i was thinking about dating her but. anyway..we went on to date other people...she got jealous..so did i..she talked a lot of trash to me n we stopped talking. well..since we did stuff sexually i still care about her and i want to become her friend but she doesn't want to anymore...she agrees to see me some days and then she backs out the last minute. so i ask her to make a decision on us being friends or not and she never answers..what do i do? by the way her friends in high school were my friends because i introduced her to our crowd and my friends are exhaused about me n her. from a guys point of view..i just want to be her friend because shes a part of my past and she knows me like the back of her hand..as do i with her? can i fix this? does she still have feelings for me and that's why she can't let it go that i hurt her? what do i do to become friends with her again and start fresh..
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
 Pardon me, I mis-read your gender as male and not female.
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (19 May 2010):
Problem is: you can't fix anyone, they must fix themselves.
What you've described here is some rather intense, and hurtful immaturity. Back and forth, yes I do, no I don', friends, not friends trash talk, and so on. The only way to bring this disastrous cycle to a halt is to get off and not get get back on, my friend. Just say no. I think you're better off investing yourself in starting anew with someone with which you have no established toxic baggage. Sometimes, we must do the hard thing because it is the best thing for us. Realistically, it takes two strong,very developed, and matured people to genuinely start fresh. This is a hard thing to do by any standard. You've said nothing here that indicates either of you are prepared to fill that capacity. You're better off going your way and leave her to pursue her's.
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