A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:well here it is. I met a guy when i was working abroad and what was supposed to be a fling became a full on relationship and we fell for each other. I have since returned home and have been back for nearly a year. Somehow we have managed to keep the relationship going and we have seen each other once during that time. I love him even more than when we first met but this means its geting harder and harder to be apart from him. Its just not possible for me to go back right now but we cant seem to find a way for him to come here. Money is tight and there are complications with work permits/visas. I'm getting to my whits end and i don't know what to do! I'm determined not to give up but i need help. I've never heard of anyone else in this situation so i don't know what to do. Are there any other ideas/channels to try? Please does anyone have advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): I don't know much about visas, but I can recommend an excellent website:
www.uk-yankee.com
It has a forum completely dedicated to visas. The entire website is for people who have either moved to the UK or had loved ones move to the UK, so they know all about this stuff.
Chin up, best of luck!
A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 i do feel for you. i know what im like when my husband works nights and i miss him,so god knows how you feel right now???
keep trying and dont give up and it will all work out for the best,if you are both determined you can do anything so dont worry flower ok.
i will keep my fingers crossed.xxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 Be patient. If you have to, work as many hours as possible, and wire him money to get a visa. It's going to take a lot of time, and patience, but I'm more than certain that you have what it takes to make it through. Best of luck,
DV1
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (21 May 2007):
 Hi there,
I can understand your frustration here, as I went through the same thing myself many years ago.
The problem is if he is having trouble obtaining a visa on normal grounds ie. visitor's visa or he does not qualify for a working visa, the only other option you may have (if things haven't changed at the Home Office) is a marriage visa, you will need to prove you have an ongoing relationship and that you intend to marry, once granted you then have six months in which to do so before the visa expires. However if you're not that serious then no point in a marriage visa, you don't want to end up with a husband you don't really want just to get him here! In which case you may need to find a way to go to him, long distance relationships are not always easy, especially if money is tight, travelling is an expense that cannot always be afforded.
It took me two years to get my then boyfriend here, but we have been married for nearly twenty years now, so don't give up if he's the one for you, love does sometimes win in the end!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): Hi, i'm not sure if this is the correct way to respond for your advice but anyway. Thanks for the quick reply, you dont know how much it means to hear someone has been in my situation. My bf lives outside the EU but he hasnt applied for a visa yet. I know which one to get and everything the only thing is costs. The visa & flights, he can afford but proving a steady income isnt really possible. We've both gone through some money troubles and it just doesn't seem possible. Thats all thats standing in the way, money! but how can we get around that!? It will take a looong time to build up those funds and i just cant bare the seperation! I would go back there if i didnt have other commitments at home and again its going to be at least another 2 years until i'm able! If you are able to shed any more light on visa processes - how thorough they are etc - i'm all ears.
Many thanks.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 I've been through the visa mess. We got one even though he was from a country outside of the EU, but it took half a year and I had to call the authorities every now and then just to check that they're not just lying around in their office eating cucumber sandwiches and drinking tea all day instead of processing the applications.
Why were you denied visa? And where is your boyfriend from? Could you imagine moving there, maybe it's easier for you to get a visa there than it is for him to get a visa in the UK?
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