A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:sooooo im 16. ever since 6th grade iv been in love with this boy, we started dating in 8th grade and it didnt go so well. we went out again in 9th grade and it finally got serious, weve been together ever since. its been a year and 5 months but including 8th grade its been 3 years and including how long iv loved him, its been about 5 years. i smoked weed with him everyday for about a year and the first 9 months of our relationship were perfect, but then i had to go to a different high school for 10th grade and things changed. He got very possessive and concerned (which i dont blame him) he got more controlling and we started to fight a lot more. He called me horrible names like cunt, bitch, dumbass ect. and a few times he pushed me, i started to get anxiety and lowself asteam (which iv never had in my life) i had 3 anxiety attacks where i threw up and passed out (i was also high of weed while i had these attacks) i quit smoking and got a self help book hoping it would help me, im not a big reader so its not doing much. Iv talked to my boyfriend about my anxiety and about how hes the one causing it. Things have gotten better since iv had these talks with him but i still continue to get anxiety, with not only him but with everyone (friends, family) i worry about not being good enough or doing something wrong, im in a constant state of panic and im afraid of something going wrong or that ill fail at everything i do and even though everyone (including me) is trying to help this situation, nothings working and its ruining my life, i love my boyfriend more then you know and i know the obvious way to get out of this is to breakup with him, but i want to overcome this and make it through this with him. how can i be with my boyfriend and control my anxiety if hes the one cuasing it? help me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 August 2010):
You're not going to overcome this. You're just not. He's an abuser, and he will continue to abuse you. Like too many other women, you are making the big mistake of thinking he will change, and you're accepting violence and abuse for no reason. You need to listen to what I am saying. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. EVER. He will hit, you scream at you, disrespect you, hurt you, and treat you like this for the rest of your life if you stay with him. Your anxiety will get worse, you'll be controlled even more to the point where he won't even let you out. You might even end up dead.
Stop this now. End it. If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
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