A
male
age
30-35,
*ave_Monk
writes:This is more a question about how i can be there for my brother. My brother is 7 years older than me and has just split up with his girlfriend of 5 and a half years. He is moving back home tonight so his ex can find a new place which is close to her work.Tonight we are going to the pub. I will have to get him drunk and talk about her and try and get him through this.Basically my question is how can i be there for him and be sympathetic?Many Thanks.
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female
reader, Gio  +, writes (8 July 2008):
Hi Dave,
Well, he is lucky to have you as a brother and a friend.
Now, answering your question... just remember that we are all different, that some people like to talk about things at their own pace, when they feel at ease. Sometimes it is not so good to 'get drunk' and get things off his chest when you want. Perhaps just tell him that you are there for him for whenever he is ready to talk or not. Let him now you are with him for whatever, be it that he needs a shoulder to cry on or just a friend to have a good time with.
All the best
Gio
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Thats kind of like asking, how can I be a friend?!
Its a good idea about trying to talk to him and that. Try and get stuff off his chest. It'll take time, everything does take time and time does eventually heal things.
Its just what you do with the time that depends on how quickly you heal.
I don't think you mean those questions, but I think your looking for what to say to him. Starting the conversation will be the most difficult, particularly if he doesn't bring it up.
But as I said, its good to get stuff off his chest.
Just listen. Be sensitive. Offer advice and support. Feel a bit of empathy. You can be there for him by listening to him. You can say something like "If theres anything you need," or "Do you need help with that," because otherwise your assuming that he needs help in things he might not need help with.
Communicate. He's bound to be upset. As I keep saying, just listen and respond.
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