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How can I be there for him?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am in a bit of a messy situation, and I do not know how to handle it.

I am in love with a very close male friend. At the moment he is going through some pretty horrible emotional problems at home, with his family, and being the lovely, caring and reliable man he is, everyone is looking to him to support them. He seems to be holding them all together. He is suffering terribly, and I am trying to be there for him.

Now, we are not "together" romantically, so I am not his girlfriend, thus cannot act like one - (also, he has a supposed gf, but they rarely see each other, and to be frank she doesnt seem to give a toss about his problems, as long as she is getting attention. In fact she actually gets annoyed with him because she thinks he is being selfish). We have always had a mutual spark together, it is just circumstances which have stopped us in the past, and I really do love him.

How do I handle this. It breaks my heart to see him so upset and stressed out. I just want to be there with him, by his side. I cannot bear him being so depressed and lonely.

What can I do? How can I be there for him?

View related questions: depressed, spark

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I have told him I am there, any time he needs me. It just breaks my heart to see him so low - I just want to wrap my arms around him and make it all ok.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2009):

Just say you're there if he needs to talk. That's all you can do. If you try to press anything, he'll clam up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009):

Just tell him that you care about him very much and if there is anything you can do or if he ever wants to talk, to just let you know. Otherwise you can just ask him once in a while how he is doing. Hugs might be nice, too, but you will have to make that decision based on the situation (meaning, if the girlfriend would freak out or if it would make him uncomfortable, don't do it).

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