| A ,
*obby1078
writes: I'm in love with a woman who is 25, no kids, never been in a serious relationship and is from another city that I'm sure she wants to move back to. I'm 30, just getting out of a 12 year realtionship with 2 kids that I wont move away from. She loves me and says that it doesn't bother her that I have kids. We've been together 4 months and haven't introduced her to the kids yet. My question is this- Having never been in a relationship, is she gonna handle this? I'm sure she wants kids of her own and I would have no problem with that but can this work? I'm responsible to my kids and the financial obligation that comes with it. Does this have a chance or am I setting myself up to get hurt? How can I find out if she's in it for the long haul or is just happy to be with someone that she's overlooking some issues? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, becky05 +, writes (2 July 2005):
Unless shes stupid after 4 months together she WILL have thought of the responsibilities you have toward your kids and also be aware that you will have financial obligations towards them and even that you will have to maintain a formal relationship with your ex-wife due to the children.Just come out and verify this with her and ask her if shes sure shes ready for that because you realise it must be a lot for her to deal with and if she says shes ready relax!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): What is the problem here? Give this relationship some time. It's just been 4 months. It's still in it's infamcy and as a man who has had a prior relationship...you of all people.. should know this. Are you expecting too much too soon from this woman. Just take it day by day, enjoy each other and have fun getting to know each other. That's likely what she's doing. Hats off to you, for not ever wanting to move away from your children. You are a Father and they need you in their lives. All children have the right to know and love their Dads. Speaking from my heart as a woman...I would have incredible respect and love for any man who priorizes his children like you do. There are so many deadbeat fathers out there who don't care..it is refreshing to hear you make these statements about your children. It says that you are honorable and you have moral integrity. Your lady in your life is likely thinking this very thing. But until this relationship gets more solid... I think you are very smart to wait before introducing her to the kids. So often kids meet a new person who plays a pivotal role in their Father's life. Kids get attached to that special person very quickly. But if they meet this person much too early and the relationship sours...that person is gone and once again..the children suffer a huge loss. Give it time...I think you are doing the right thing for your kids...and I bet your lady loves this about you. Hang in there
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2005): How about you lighten up a bit, give it a few more months & just get to know this woman better. Don't start trying to do the "family" thing until you both know how you feel.
...............................
|
