A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I don't understand why I am upset over my break up with my boyfriend a week ago when I am the one that broke up with him, I didn't get dumped after all. We were together for 4 years.Started off OK but some issues like money and marriage and children we just couldn't agree on, and eventually I realised we didn't want the same things, and that those type of things have to do with your values, and if we weren't in agreement it wouldn't work. So I know all these things, I thought it through, why do I feel so bad? He's not a bad person and we weren't nasty during the breakup.
View related questions:
broke up, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): It makes sense that you feel like this because you was with him for four years and because you deep down feel responsible for the break up , and it wasn't nasty so there is no anger towards him. But you have not got a reason to feel bad and if you both want diffefent things then you
made the right decision to end it and font worry because the feelings will fade and when you get these feelings then dont try and push tbem away because this will just make them worse what you need to do is let the feelings come and be there and then gently direct your attention ti something else and it will get easier and you did both of you a favor because its better to end it now then become more serious and find youselves stuck in something that you dont want.
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Apparently something is missing out of this post. The information provided doesn't add up to a reason really so as I stated before you not telling all sides of the story fully. There's the true version then theres a lie version then theres the his or her version. So When we get all the versions we can know really why you feel bad about a breakup that you didnt have same values morals and beliefs about.
...............................
A
female
reader, Stelladra  +, writes (10 February 2013):
That is completely normal. I ended a long term relationship in my twenties and it took me a year to fully heal and be ready to move on. You not only loved this person for four years but you also imagined your future with him and sadness too can be for broken dreams of what could be. Also he was your companion, confidant and friend. And you probably still love him even though he isn't right for you. And you can love someone you cared about but not be in love anymore and know that you don't see a future with them. No matter why you ended it and it sounds like you did for the right reasons, you will need time to heal. Allow yourself to mourn. Go through the pain rather then around it meaning don't try to distract yourself from the sadness, let yourself cry and you will get over it faster. Hang in there as you will look back on this in a year and be glad you made the right choice.
...............................
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Hi
Because you were together for 4 years and cared about him, he wasn't a bad boyfriend you just had different views on important issues.
It was a *good* break up, your lucky.Now you have to allow time to get over him,once your getting on with your life the gap he left will become smaller.
...............................
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Breakups are hard, you need time to mourn what you had. If its only been a week don't worry allow yourself to be sad for a few weeks then get out there! You don't have to be the dumped to find breakups hard.
...............................
|
