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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, I hope someone can help me asap! Basically, my bf has lost his job and is going through an awful lot of stress at the moment. I'm very sad to say, I haven't been that supportive. I've tried to be, but things have got in the way to cause arguments or atmospheres between us. It's more like he's being supportive to me, taking me out, cooking for me, suggesting we do things together and it's made me feel terrible!! I've apologised but I really want to show him I'm here to support him too.It's not that I haven't cared and don't care (because I love him more than anything!), it's just I've let outside factors and people affect me and our relationship Any ideas?
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (20 November 2006):
 The best way to be supportive is to lend him your ears. To listen to someone when they talk and take an interest in what they say means so much more than anything else you can ever do. The reason hes being all nice to you now is because he wants you to be there for him, to be near him and listen to him when he's feeling down, which he is obviously is at this moment in time. So theres no need to feel guilty about him being 'supportive of you', instead, take this opportunity to listen more, and talk less.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Try relaxing yourself- it won't help if you are both stressed! It sounds like you love this guy a whole lot, and that's great! Make sure he knows it, too. Try writing about how you feel in a letter to him- you might see each other all the time or live together, but a loving, supportive letter is something concrete that he can read when he's feeling most upset. Arguments often turn up when people are stressed and things are going wrong. I find that it helps to just take a step back, perhaps go and do something that you really enjoy doing for a while, and come back in a better mood. Just a smile can break the ice, to let them know that whichever one of you is right or wrong, that you're not going to let it blow up into something big, or let it come between you. It's great that you are trying to be supportive, not just thinking about your own problems. Good luck!
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