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female
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anonymous
writes: My husband walked out on our family on March 2005 with no contact with myself and our 2 yr. old daughter for 6 months. We divorced in August 2005. I began a new relationship in Sept. 2005 and we were together for 3 mos. During that time I became pregnant with my boyfriends baby. MY ex-husband wanted me back (visitation w/his daughter). Even after I told him about the baby. I ended up leaving my boyfriend because of other problems and went back to my ex. It was good for several months. We went to counseling together. March, 2006 he got mad because the ex-beau called and he left. He was out with another woman, lost his job, drank. It was about the time we agreed to separate when I was 6 mos. along because it would get too hard for him as I got bigger w/my pregnancy. He ended up coming back after 3 wks.because he said he loved me too much and it didn't feel right being w/ the other woman he was with for 4 days. Three weeks after I had my son in June, 2006, he got mad and left. Ended our relationship. In August 2006, we had our first contact between each other at his mothers. He was drunk, saying ugly things about me and my baby. Trying to get me jealous, to hurt me with words and He said some things in front of our daughter not wanting her no more, having another baby and another daughter he helped raise. He ended up hitting, kicking, pushing and swearing at me w/in 2 feet of our daughter who was screaming and crying for me. Traumatized her so that she is very insecure. He received domestic violence and simple assault. From then on I have no contact with him. I have full custody of our daughter and am now trying to terminate his parental rights. He doesn't care and doesn't show up with his court dates. I have heard he no longer works (not like him) and drinks all the time. I allowed my baby's father to see his son. I am staying away from both of them and raising my children. I miss my ex-husband and love him yet. A part of me wants him to come back in his daughters life. Another part wants him back. He stays sober and works when we are together. He said he feels betrayed and I shouldv'e known we would get back together. For me I felt it was over after our divorce. So I moved on. Should I contact him? Just go from there? Will he accept my son? Just wondering what he is thinking and feeling now.
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divorce, drunk, get back together, insecure, jealous, lost his job, miss my ex, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2006): he made the choice and walked out, that was all the proof that you needed to know that he was not willing to deal with it or think of his daughter. And for as your son, he will never accept him no matter how much you or him try. Close this chapter in your life with him in it, and move on and raise your children in a secured and safe environment. Good Luck, hope all works out for the sake of the children.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 November 2006):
 Think of your daughter everytime you think of contacting your very mixed-up, drunken, violent EX-husband. You don't want to traumatize her her any further. Quite frankly, your love life looks like a yo-yo, made me dizzy reading it. Why you would want that loser back is beyond me, keep moving forward for the children's sakes. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006): Move on. He became violent towards you in front of your daughter and he may do it again when he can't "cope" with things. I also don't believe he would actually accept your son. He will always feel betrayed and your son will be a reminder of that betrayal in his eyes. He is the one that walked out on you so don't cling to your past or this idea that his problems will be resolved once he is back in your life. Let him go and enjoy your children.
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