A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a girl for a little less than a year. In most ways, our relationship has been happy and strong. But over the past few weeks, I've found myself more and more needy. Since we've come home from school, and haven't been able to see each other nearly as often, I feel like I need to have her periodically confirm that she still loves me and that nothing has changed.More often than not, she's just as affectionate as I am--she talks about how we will likely get married, and how we're soulmates. I absolutely love hearing it. Other times, however, she's not in as affectionate of a mood, and I usually interpret this as a waning interest in me. Over the past few weeks, I've forced several heavy discussions on this topic that have really taken a toll on both of our moods. The more I sense that my conversations on the topic are bothering her, the more depressed I get--that is, the more I feel like I'm messing up something that is otherwise perfect. How can I be less needy, and more sensitive to her independence? How can I restore our usual playful and affectionate status?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Dear anonymous: Maybe you are codependent. Perhaps you should take a codependency quiz/test online and learn about this personality disorder of addiction. Just read and see if the information makes any sense. If it does find professional help. :0]
A
female
reader, Jencat  +, writes (13 June 2007):
HiYou need to go out with your friends or take up a new interest to take your focus away from your girlfriend and show her that you can function without her and you may meet some new friends and not feel that you need to rely on her for your happiness. Also, if you stop being so heavy and just enjoy what you have the relationship will develop naturally and she won't feel so pressurised. With regards to her 'cool' periods remember that women's hormones do fluctuate at certain times of the month and probably nothing to do with how she feels about you. Hope this helps.
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