A
female
age
30-35,
*ysterium
writes:Hi all!Thanks for taking out time to read my problem and helping me out with it.My problem is as follows:So I know this person,A, since we were kids. we are family friends and we've grown up together. But during middle school he went away to a boarding school and we grew apart. After he came back we worked towards building our friendship again during which I really liked him at some point but he was seeing someone and another time he liked me but I was seeing someone else. Eventually I got over the liking and he was just a really good friend to me. A little annoying at times, but nice. And I was really comfortable like this. One day my mother decides to step in and assume there is some chemistry between us. And she kept telling me how nice he is etc etc. And I resisted but after a while I started to fall for him. But it was too late because he shifted out of the country to pursue his studies. When I speak to him now, I KNOW in my mind I wouldn't like a guy like him. I mean we don't think alike. We both are very bossy and so on. And I don't gel well with people who don't share my mental wave length, I guess that's true for anyone. But I still feel like, I like him...I don't know why. How can I be attracted to him and Not be attracted to him at the same time? Maybe I know we won't get along as lovers but I'm just not ready to let go? And I'm moving out of the country too, but to a different one ( too much country hopping :P) and he is saving up to come and visit me. I'm not taking him seriously beecause I don't want to disappoint myself, even though he sounds quite serious. What is happening? I'm sure he doesn't like me because even though we stay talk often, we don't flirt or anything. Even if we do its a very "read between the lines" kind of flirting. We just stay updated with what's happening in each others' lives. I feel even I don't like him. But Something IS there. Or am I just over thinking?Thanks!
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Maybe it's just the fantasy of what COULD be between you that is making you think there is something there. If you think you're too alike in the fact you both have very similar traits, and you are doubting whether you'd be good together then clearly you shouldn't be together.The question you must ask yourself is will you regret. Dreaming is different to actually making it happen. If in ten years you look back will you regret your decision not to try it out. But then, you have to ask yourself whether if it went sour it would ruin your friendship. Is it better having him in your life as a friend, or to risk losing it altogether.No one can predict the future, but you're both living far apart and although long distance can and does work, it may put extra strain on you. Can you handle that? Will it make you paranoid etc. It's so hard living apart ...
|
