A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have had a tough year with my bf and although things are next to perfect now...I still think about our past a lot [he broke my heart and messed me around a bit and took me for granted]. I wanna start the new year afresh...A new more confident me who doesnt think about the past. How do I go about this ? x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): Try to go back and logically analyze how you learned form your experiences. Do your best to remove your emotion as that clouds things. Then, once you figure out how youve learned figure that into how you will apply your lessons and experiences to your future with him. For example, I once upon a time dated an alcoholic and had chances to be with her while we were both intoxicated. I refused each time. Now, learning from that situation, I said to myself regardless if a woman is an alcoholic or not, mixing booze in intimate situations is unwise and can lead to disaster and potentially put me into an equation for bad decision making. Therefore, I will not drink any alcohol whatsoever in the presence of any lady I have interest in in the future because I dont want to risk making a bad decision. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): How about... stop thinking about the past?Obviously it's not as simple as it sounds, but just be aware of what is on your mind. If you catch yourself dwelling on the past, force yourself to focus on the present. You control your thoughts, not the other way around.Once you change your thinking and are not dwelling on the negative events of the past, you view of yourself will change as well. its called Cognitive-behavioral therapy.
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A
female
reader, courtney24 +, writes (26 December 2010):
 you have to forgive, and move on.. relationships are going to have ups and downs of course, but if you can't learn to fully forgive then it won't work.. the fact that you think about the past means you haven't fully forgiven it or may be holding on to fears that it may happen again.. be cautious but if you want your relationship to fully heal your going to have to accept the past.
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