A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok first off, i am not female 23 this is my sisters page i just gotta ask a question. I am male, 38, married 12 years divorced 4. I broke up with the only girl after my divorce about a month ago so i am not ashamed to say that i am out of the game. I have my eyes on this younger lady which i only dated like two younger girls in high school. She is 25 and very beautiful inside and out. Now we have a mutual friend and she was cool enough to tell me that her friend likes guys that are, and i quote "aggressive; as in Confident, strong, not afraid to do whatever it takes to get what you want."I am a peaceful guy man. I like to treat girls with respect. But im in no position to be choosy. Can someone be cool enough to give me some pointers (what to do, say, etc) on how to be this aggressive dude. Once i get that foot in the door, i am confident that i can take it from there.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 I highly recommend the book Iron John by Robert Bly.
'Aggressive' is not the right word. Bly talks about being in touch with our 'wild man', being capable of being fierce, not aggressive. Strong, not domineering. Powerful yet compassionate.
Highly recommended!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question tennisstar88 +
?, writes (19 August 2010):
"What would u say is an average
guy?"
Well basically having the same characteristics that you mentioned. Into football baseball, beer and nachos all over his shirt, loves betting on games and blames you if his favorite team loses lol, to me thats an average guy maybe because thats how i am and who i hung out with.
"And just out of curiosity
where do u classify the
pushovers?"
Um, you got me there. Pushovers?
"Lol, true a guy who
doesnt like sports isnt really much
of a guy now..of course aggressive
guys are going to carry the normal
outline of a male but with that bad
boy, dominating, cocky, edge..U
know I dont know one male that
doesnt think he's the shit..even
just a lil."
Well youre giving me two different people. The guy with the outline of an average dude but with that badboy cocky image is usually part of his image. I get like that and i dont even realize i may be making someone uncomfortable until its brought to my attention.
The guy who thinks he's the shit is the guy who may have the outline of the average guy i describe, but psychs himself out to believe that if he wasnt in the room, everyone would be suffering from narcolepsy. The guy who would come between a guy and a girl conversing in a bar and say to the girl "you mean to tell me nobody has offered to buy a pretty lady a drink?" Or "what do you see in this guy?" See the difference? The guy who feels he has to insult another guy right in his presence to prove who knows what is a guy who has to have all the attention or else.. usually thats a result of his mother enabling him from birth and always telling him how beautiful he is that he has to make sure every girl notices him and every guy envies him. Funny thing is, when a guy like that walks into a bar, the ladies usually look at me as almost to say "please dont leave me alone with this jerk" lol.
You ever see Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo? Remember there was that guy marrying the same type of guy i am describing, then there was Kumar. Well im Kumar and to me thats an average guy cuz all my friends are like that. If you havent seen it, check it out. Youll like it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 August 2010):
 What would u say is an average guy? And just out of curiosity where do u classify the pushovers? Lol, true a guy who doesnt like sports isnt really much of a guy now..of course aggressive guys are going to carry the normal outline of a male but with that bad boy, dominating, cocky, edge..U know I dont know one male that doesnt think he's the shit..even just a lil.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontennisstar88 +, I am happy for you that you found the guy you just after. But to be honest, alot of those things sound like an average dude. Football, baseball, dominant in bed, voices his opinion, I mean a man who doesnt like sports alone is usually a dork. But one thing I dont find aggressive, with all due respect, is a guy who thinks he is Gods gift to women. Guys like that are usually assholes who think their shit dont stink.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 August 2010):
To add to the list, a lil controlling but not too much of where we want to dump them, wears the pants in the relationship, shows no fear or emotion, can sometimes get into to altercations not all the time then we would call them hot heads, the list goes on...I do know this type of guy very well, he's all I ever dated and lusted after and now Im married to it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontennisstar88 "aggressive guys
arent afraid to speak their mind and
have an opinion, well spoken,
dominant in bed, sometimes can
have a bit of a temper,
independent, motivated, take what
they want out of life, a lil
cockiness to them, some think
they are god's gift to women,
usually into baseball, football,
sometimes hockey"
Is that what an aggressive guy is? Shit then I should be good to go lol. You hit a bullseye on everything except the Gods gift to women part. I dont have the Republican mentality to think I am better than anybody.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question "tennisstar88 +
?, writes (18 August 2010):
Ur 38 and u dated 2 high school
girls? Uhhh let's try to stick with
women here".
Lol Noo! I said (rather meant) that the only time i dated someone younger than me was in high school with 2 different classmates. Everyone else Ive dated were always older
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 August 2010):
Ur 38 and u dated 2 high school girls? Uhhh let's try to stick with women here..Honestly, I would just be urself..U already seem to have the confidence. Women dont want a guy trying to be something theyre not, bc eventually we find out who the real u is. Dont try to adjust who u are for this woman, how long would u even be willing to keep that gig up? Now if u dont agree with that... aggressive guys arent afraid to speak their mind and have an opinion, well spoken, dominant in bed, sometimes can have a bit of a temper, independent, motivated, take what they want out of life, a lil cockiness to them, some think they are god's gift to women, usually into baseball, football, sometimes hockey..cant think of anymore off the top of my head, but if posses any of these characteristics then Id say u already got it in u. Dating again is like riding a bike u can be a lil rusty but u never forget!
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