A
female
age
30-35,
*overnotafighter
writes:I was with a guy a while ago for about 4 months we got on well and seemed fine, but he then told me that his ex girlfriend was going to have his child. This was too much for me and I broke it off with him, lately we've been back talking and its all going ok.Hes going through a lot at the minute his best friend recently passed away and another one has been diagnosed with cancer hes really down and has been asking me out on dates and sayong he still likes me and wants to get back together. I dont want to get back into anything with him, but I cant really leave him right now, incase he does something stupid because he's attempted it before and I'm not sure if he's really recovered from it.How can I be there for him now without getting his hopes up or is there anything I can do? or is he just saying this stuff because hes down and is just looking for someone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (23 February 2011):
You don't owe him a relationship just because he's having a rough life and may be destructive or self-destructive.
Tell him that you're not ready to be in a relationship, but you're OK with being just friends. Set clear boundaries and stick with them. Keep your guard up and monitor your interactions (at least for awhile) to make sure that he is clear on what your boundaries are and is respecting them. If he doesn't, then distance yourself from him.
either way I think that if he has made clear that he wants to date you, then you owe it to him to be equally honest and clear that you DON'T want to date him.
A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Don’t let him talk you into being with him because he’s unstable, offer him advice when he need it, and keep your distance. If he does something stupid, OH WELL! That’s not your problem. Recommend him to a mental health agency and let them help him. It’s hard to save a person from themselves. It’s too much for you, he need professional help! Ijs! P.S if he's just down and looking for someone let him look a little further! LOL! He's too much!
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