A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I hope you can help. I find it really easy to make friends with girls, but they never seem to want any more from me. I'm a pretty average kind of bloke, reasonably attractive, quite funny, I like to go out with my mates, have a drink, football etc. etc. I'm fairly confident and have no problem at all talking to girls. I've met lots of people, got their number, had a date and then I get the "lets just be friends" speech. The thing is, every single one of them have actually remained friends so I know they like me as a person, they just don't seem to see me as "fanciable". I recently started a new job and I work with a great girl. We get on great, and we flirt a lot. The thing is, she has a serious boyfriend, so I know that eventually the flirting will get boring, she'll still be with her boyfriend and we'll end up being "just good friends". I want to back off a bit, so I don't end up getting hurt, but I can feel that we are getting closer and becoming really good friends like I am with so many other girls. How can I avoid getting hurt without falling out with this girl? And in future, how can I get girls to see me as a bloke, and potential boyfriend, rather than just a friend? I know this particular girl has a boyfriend, but the same problems happen with single girls as well.Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Hmmm. A little hard to know what to say.
Just remain friends with her. She has a boyfriend so don't let her led you on with her flirtations. She may just like the attention that other men give her, but she is leading you on a little.
Are you flirting with the other girls (the single ones, who then say they just want to be friends). Maybe you are being to friendly? Where are you taking them out? Maybe you're going for the wrong kind of girl.
Sorry I can't help anymore.
Luck. X
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