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How can I ask her out when I have never done this before?!

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 September 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2008)
A male United States age 30-35, *ovie1212 writes:

I am a freshman in high school and i have a crush on this girl who was in my class last year. We never really had a conversation but we do know each other. Also she is nice to me but she kind of acts this way to everybody so I cant tell what her feelings are towards me. How do I tell her that I want her to be my girlfriend? If I didn't do it in person (example=aim)would it be alright? Plz help I never really asked someone out before?

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A female reader, megadancer United States +, writes (7 September 2008):

megadancer agony auntYou should just ask her to the movies or something. Trust me Girls are too afraid tomake the first move most of the time. and NO! Definatly DO NOT ask her over the internet. Ask her in person. The likliness that she will say yes is practically like 75%. The only reason she would say no would be if she absolutely despises you, or if your her best friend and she doesn't want it to be more than that. So you should just try. You never know until you ask! Go for it Man!

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A female reader, Daniela2 United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2008):

Get to Know Her First.Aim/Msn is the perfect way to do this.Get her addy & begin talking to her.If youve never talked to her,how do you know you would be compatible.It is also easier to ask her out on Msn/AIM.But anyway Make sure that the girl is someone you honestly feel you could do things with. Tell her she looks beautiful, not just a crush, and make sure she's SINGLE. Breaking a girl's heart means that they might encourage other girls not to go out with you.Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship. Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship. Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile. Greet her in whatever fashion you normally would, but remember, being overly cordial or more relaxed than she knows you to be, can reveal to her that you are trying too hard and therefore are not confident with being yourself, which will mirror that same anxiety within her, ruining your chances. In other words, be yourself. The greeting is what sets the precedent for who you are. If the greeting creates an odd situation where there is a bit of personality clash, it can ruin your entire chance. Traditionally, following the greeting is the conversation. Reiterating from before, it's important to be yourself, so talk about subjects that you are interested in, and give responses to how you genuinely feel. Honesty is much, much more than just telling the truth, it's about showing people you live a life other than theirs and have sovereign ideas, thoughts and feelings.

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A female reader, Pixie_xo United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2008):

Pixie_xo agony auntAsking people out is always a bit difficult, especially if you don't know the person that well. I think if you don't know this girl very well you should try to get to know her better and talk to her more before you ask her the question. And when you do know a bit more about her, don't seem too straightforward. Say to her something like "Look I've liked you for quite a while and I was wondering would you like to go out with me sometime?" instead of just firing the question at her and making her feel uncomfortable. I hope this helps.

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