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How can I approach my gf on our anniversery even though we are on a break??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone. I am 19 years old, and I been with my girlfriend for almost four years now. We have our occasional "breaks" and all. We love each other very much, but right now we are having another break. Too much going on in my life right now and same goes for her. Its almost valentines day, and on that day four years ago is when we first met. Any advice on how I can approach her etc etc?

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A female reader, mousey17 United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2008):

mousey17 agony auntwell its not all bad you both sound like you do rely love each other if breaks are a normal thing in your relationship then i dont see why valentines day is any diff from the rest maybe get her a valentines card and right init the usual stuff but also maybe put a note in it either on the card or on peice of paper which cud be put in with card saying wow i cant believe its been nerly 4 yrs ect ect.. leave her your number or if she has it right at the bottom give me a call would love to here your voice if this doesnt work or it does message me hunxxx

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony aunti agree with ther advice the other two people have given but let her know you still love her, send her a valentines card only, that may be the start of sorting this out x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

Daniel is correct in wondering why there has been (even only) more than one "occasional" "break." The idea of taking breaks from a relationship is not a good one, in any case. Because, after four years, there is either a permanent commitment on both sides - or there is not.

Ever heard the expression "time to fish or cut bait"?

You may love one another - but you may not be very well suited for a permanent relationship. Think about it.

What do you really want from her, and is it worth it?

Lastly, you ask how you can approach her as Valentine's Day is coming up, and that's when you first met. If you want my advice, it is: DON'T. Just leave it alone. And, if this brings about a confrontation from her, then so be it. Perhaps you'll both discover what it is you REALLY value about your relationship - or what you do not value.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (6 February 2008):

Danielepew agony auntSorry. In my opinion, it would be a bad idea to approach her. If you're on a break, you're on a break.

I feel you should use this break to reflect about the relationship. Is it what you want? I wouldn't want to be with a person who breaks up with me every so often.

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